Heat of the Moment
by missdollophead
Summary: When it's the Second day of Christmas, Morgana has a little chitchat with Arthur. 'Would it be nonsense to say that ever since Merlin has been your servant you haven't showed interest in other women... or men,' she asks, showing a triumphantly smile. Then, Arthur starts thinking.
1. Chapter 1 A nice surprise

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 1**

Today's just another day... Arthur thought, padding the sheet that covered his naked upper body. He yawned a few times and wanted to lay there forever, though he suddenly rushed out of bed. The thing was, that his manservant George could enter the room anytime and he just didn't want that incredibly well-mannered imbecile to see his upper body, let alone dress him.

This had been the case since Christmas. It had never been a problem for Arthur when Merlin was his servant, but well, Merlin wasn't here right now. Why did he give the fool off for Christmas holidays anyway? As fast as he could with his sleepy mind, he dressed himself. He had just finished this, when George entered the room, with the always o-so-serious expression on his face. ''Sire,'' he called Arthur very formally, ''would you like your breakfast right now or shall I wait for your orders?''

''Jeez, George,'' Arthur said irritated, ''just give me the meal already. I'm starving.''

''As you wish, my lord.'' George left the room with little baby steps, trying to make himself sound as quiet as possible. Arthur didn't know what the point of this was. He was awake, so why be this silent? It only annoyed him, because he was so used to Merlin, who always tripped and fell over the mess in Arthurs room - which he never cleaned, because he was too busy swearing at him.

Arthur looked out of the window. It amazed him that so many small snowflakes could form such a big pack of snow. It surely was one meter in length. If Merlin was to come back to Camelot he'd surely be held up for a few days, because it was not done to travel back with this weather. Oh, if only Merlin was here... he wanted to make snowballs and start a little snowball fight with him. He wanted to see the crystal clear snowflakes lying upon his hair, only to be able to ruffle his hair. Then he wanted to sit next to, talk to, laugh with and tease Merlin. All these thoughts Arthur had, were unaware for the last named person. He just thought of it, but he didn't search for anything behind it. They were good friends. Nothing more. And to be honest, he liked it that way.

It was the Second day of Christmas, but there was nothing fun about it. Later on that day, Morgana would probably beg Uther and Arthur to spend the day horse riding, followed by warming up at the fireplace in her own room. Arthur didn't feel like doing this today. Maybe if he'd get some nice Christmas presents from her he'd go with her.

* * *

After breakfast, Arthur got a quick visit from Morgana. She stood in the door opening, and asked him to come, for she heard Uther had some news for him. Arthur looked in the mirror one more time, very smoothly, and joined her on the way to Uthers chambers.

''So,'' Morgana asked, ''no rings under your eyes today?''

Arthur shrugged. ''Well, I don't know. I can't sleep well lately.''

''Does it have something to do with Merlins departure?'' Arthur saw her grin. How he wished she was walking under a tree with a big pack of snow on the branches right now, so that he could give the three a push, but a very casual one, obviously.

Unfortunately, there was no tree in the halls of the castle, so Arthur let her know with words that he was not amused with this in the slightest, by saying: ''Why does everyone, even you, think, that every time I'm apparently not comfortable in my own skin, it has got something to do with Merlin. I'm sorry, my dear Morgana, but that's nonsense.''

''Would it be nonsense to say that ever since Merlin has been your servant you haven't showed interest in other women... or men?'' She showed a triumphantly smile.

Abruptly, Arthur stopped walking for a second. ''Pardon me,'' said he, almost losing his temper, ''but are you assuming ĺ am gay?''

Morgana pouted: ''I wouldn't say it like that... but maybe that's what it is?''

''You've completely lost your mind. Are you going to tell me you've made a book where you write down all my actions, twentyfour seven?''

''Mmm, that might be a good idea...'' Morgana smirked.

''Oh, stop it, you! And for the record: I'll never forgive you for calling me gay.''

''I did nót!'' Morgana chuckled. Secretly, she was enjoying this, a lót. Arthur didn't want to give her this satisfaction, but he already did by reacting to her statement.

''Indirectly, you did,'' Arthur said offended. ''Now, if you don't mind...'' He walked passed her very hastily, not wanting to continue this ridiculous conversation Morgana'd started – but he already heard her footsteps becoming louder and louder behind him.

''What now? Haven't you harmed my pride enough already?'' Arthur snorted.

''Don't be such a girl, Arthur,'' Morgana answered. She turned left in the big halls of the castle, walking to her chambers instead of Uther's.

Arthur frowned and asked her what she was doing, but she just said: ''I have a surprise for you,'' and made it look like it was a great deal. That was the only reason Arthur followed her, but he didn't set his hopes too high for this surprise. ''What is it then?'' he asked, ''horse food? So the horses will not die when we have to ride them for five hours long agáín? That would be clever, Morgána.'' He emphasized 'again' and 'Morgana' to be sure to get an answer, even though he knew she didn't like his cockiness that much. Ok then, she didn't like his cockiness at all.

''Can you just be patient, for one single second?'' she muttered.

''I'll be as patient as a girl.''

''That doesn't make any sense.'' An annoyed Morgana looked at Arthur. ''You're so stupid... And now hush, otherwise you won't get your present.''

''Fair enough.''

As they entered Morgana's chambers, Arthur saw an enormous box of one by one meter, wrapped up in red gift paper, decorated with a green ribbon. The moment he saw it he knew that ór it would be horse food for the rest of the eternity, ór it would be something completely else. The last one seemed more logical, somehow. He felt a bit of guilt, when staring at the box, because he didn't get Morgana a present as big as this one. Would she still like the necklace he bought her?

''Tadaaa!'' She smiled, the corners of her mouth curled up. He saw the twinkling in her eyes. ''I'm sure you'll _love_ this! It took some time to get this here, but I'm glad it wasn't snowing as much yesterday as it does today, otherwise it would be a Third day of Christmas present, or maybe a sixth.''

Arthur didn't know what to think because he was slightly confused. The present didn't come from Camelot, then? Would that mean it was something exclusive? Anyway, he was itching to undo the paper, and Morgana didn't stop him when he walked to the present and undid the green ribbon on top of it. And when he did that, he heard a strange noise, like the thing you hear when someone's –

''Morgana, why are you breathing this heavily?'' he wondered aloud.

''I'm no – ok, it's me,'' she admitted, ''I'm sorry but I'm overly excited so my breath gets a little heavier and sounds a little bit more... manly?''

''You're messing around with me.'' Arthur turned around to see her, to look if she wasn't lying to him. ''What is the mea – AAH!''

He leaped a good four meters in the air, scared to the death by the sudden sound of a 'suprise!' behind him. Two strong hands brought him back to the ground and as Arthur turned, he saw a person who looked an awful lot like Merlin. The red shirt, the jacket, and for Christmas' sake, a green scarf which Arthur had never seen before. Then there was the goofy smile, the nonchalant locks of his deep brown, almost black hair, and the dazzling blue eyes, that could make people do whatever he wanted if used correctly.

''Good heavens!'' Arthur cried out, finally realising it actually was Merlin. ''What are you doing here?''

''Merry Christmas,'' was Merlins answer, before he hugged Arthur tightly. Both their bodies felt hot when pressed together, due to the sudden adrenaline shots they both got through this surprise. From his eyecorners, Arthur sneaked a peak at Morgana. Her fat, smug face had this annoying smile planted on it, but for this one second Arthur didn't care. He was holding Merlin, and even though Morgana was giving him these looks, he was grateful that he didn't have to spend another day with George. And maybe he was grateful as well because his best friend was here. And that was what Christmas was all about right? Being with your beloved ones. Starting with this 'present' made the day suddenly a lot more beautiful.


	2. Chapter 2 Closed doors

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 2**

With Morgana and now also Merlin at his side, Arthur walked towards Uthers chambers. The king was already awake and, waiting for them. He didn't look surprised when he saw Merlin. Was he in this 'surprise plot' too? shot through Arthurs head. He looked at Merlin, analysing the look on his face, and suddenly, Arthurs cheeks flushed.

For the first time since Merlin had surprised him, he studied his face. There were some changes. Beautiful ones, told Arthurs mind him. The dazzling eyes and goofy smile of Merlin he'd already seen, but now, he'd noticed Merlin was less thin than before. Christmas had helped him to gain some weight. Not that he was underfed before Christmas, it was a matter of common knowledge, that people gained weight on these days of the year, Merlin included. His face was more full, his lips a little bigger, and his eyes weren't as hollow as they used to be. Arthur had never seen him looking like this, and it surprised him, but somehow it was a nice surprise. So nice, that for some strange reason the cheek blushing became more intense as he was looking at Merlin. His face was burning with heat, and it felt like he was sweating litres of water in a few seconds.

''Are you OK, crown prince?'' Merlin asked jokingly, but there was a serious undertone in his voice. He was simply worried about Arthur who looked like he was about to pass out. It scared him to see him like this.

''I... I...'' Arthur stuttered, his eyes locked on Merlins lips, unable to look him in the eyes.

''Open the window, will you?'' ordered Uther Merlin, who nodded a 'yes, my lord', and turned to do so.

Arthur let out a sigh of relief. Now Merlin head for the window, his body temperate gradually decreased. The last time this kind of heat had taken over his body was... even before Merlin came to Camelot. Dammit, Morgana! he thought. If she hadn't brought up this subject, he wouldn't have noticed all of this. He wouldn't have felt all of this... like his raising heartbeat when Merlin hugged him... but that was just the adrenaline, he was hella sure of that.

''So, how are we going to spend the day?'' Uther asked.

''I'd like to ride the horses, my lord,'' Morgana said, with her honeyed voice. Arthur could resist this voice, but Uther couldn't. He practically said yes before she had even proposed the idea.

''Sounds delightful,'' Uther smiled, ''what do you think about that, my son?''

Arthur didn't want to at first, because horse riding was pretty much the only thing he did his entire Christmas, but now, he really wanted to get some fresh air. ''I think it's a great – '' he started, before he was cut off.

''Do you really think that's a good idea?'' Morgana said, picking her words carefully, ''you looked all pale a few minutes ago. I do not want to be the one responsible for your illness. What do you think, Uther?''

''I think you're right Morgana, I do not want to drag my boy outside in this cold weather, when it's better for him to stay inside. Merlin will take care of him.''

''I'm sure he will,'' Morgana said, looking relieved. Or was that just an act and did Arthur see a little smile there?

And all the while, Arthur was thinking only one thing: what was she doing? ''I'm fine,'' he pretended, ''no need to worry about me. I'll come with you.''

Morgana smiled faintly. ''I don't think so, Arthur.''

''I'm sorry,'' Uther pointed out, ''but it's for the best. Now this is settled, I have some presents to give you.'' The royal family didn't only give each other presents on the First day of Christmas, they also celebrated the special occasion on the Second day of Christmas. Uther took a box from behind him. ''Merry Christmas, my dear Morgana,'' he said before he handed it over.

Morgana opened the box and clapped her hands at the beautiful, golden tiara Uther gave her. ''I'm going to wear this day in, day out, for the rest of my life,'' she cried out. ''It's wonderful, thank you.'' It seemed the mood of Christmas was restored, and everyone was happy again. But Arthur was just pretending to be glad with the giving and getting of presents. He was really happy though when Morgana liked the necklace he gave her, or maybe that was just pretending from her side, because the necklace was placed on the table besides her, while the tiara she got from Uther, was still proudly placed on her black hair.

''It really like it, Arthur,'' she reassured him, when she saw his uncertain look. ''It's very sweet.''

When it was time for Arthur to get presents from his beloved ones, he got a sharp, hand forged sword. He thanked Uther several times for this gift, which must have cost him a lot of money, since he'd claimed it was the best sword in whole Camelot. Arthur was thankful for this gift. He didn't expect to receive any more gifts, because Morgana already surprised him with the return of Merlin, but she gave him another present: the small package contained a heavy hoof, 'to bring him luck in his battles', her words quoted.

''You should put it above your bed, or somewhere in your room. You decide,'' she said.

''Thanks,'' Arthur grinned, because he knew this thing wouldn't help him for a second when his enemies would try to make him breath his last.

After that, Uther received his presents, and then he thought it was time to wrap things up and begin the horse trip in the snow. He asked Merlin, who'd been standing in a corner very silently for all this time, to escort Arthur to his room. Merlin agreed and installed himself by to the big doors of Uthers chambers, ready to walk Arthur to his room. He found it strange that Arthur had felt so hot, had looked so sick, and still insisted on going horse riding, because Merlin knew how much he detested the 'stupid rides Milady always wanted to take'.

''I can't believe you are making me stay at home,'' Arthur mocked. ''This is not fair.'' When nobody reacted, he tried to protest again, saying he was feeling just fine, because he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Merlin – when in his room, with only Merlin and him, the cheek flushing would start again – but it was all useless.

''You're not coming with us,'' Uther said firmly, in a way that could stop all arguing at once. He was the one who ran this kingdom, after all, and this sentence made Arthur rest with Uthers decision. He couldn't help but thinking that it had been Morgana's intentions to stop him from coming with them. It felt quite humiliating, to be overruled by a gírl.

''If you'd follow me,'' Merlins voice bored through Arthurs thoughts, ''please.'' He gestured to the doors he just opened, ready to lead Arthur to his chambers. He wanted to know what kind of fever it could be that Arthur had experienced.

''I know where my chambers are, Merlin!'' snapped Arthur at Merlin. ''You don't have to tell me that!'' The sudden rage in his voice made Merlin want to leap a thousand feet in the air. It sounded frightening to him, like the voice of someone who was able to kill if anyone would stand in their way.

''I'm sorry,'' he apologized, but that didn't stop Arthur from walking past Merlin, not giving him a single look. He was vanished in no time. Merlin tried to follow him, but as he reached Arthurs chambers, the doors were locked. What is the meaning of all of this? he thought, and he began to feel mad. For a whole afternoon and night, he had been travelling, held up by wind and snow, to this castle only to surprise Arthur – and maybe to make his Christmas a bit brighter – and now, he was shut out. He could've easily stayed with his mother today, whom he did not see often, and though, he travelled the whole way back to spend Christmas with, not the crown prince, not his master, but his friend. A friend who just yelled at him. A friend who had his eyes locked on his mouth. Yes, he had noticed. Something was not right with Arthur, and he'd feel angry for the rest of the day if he didn't find out what was going on, right now.


	3. Chapter 3 To draw conclusions

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 3**

Ten minutes past, and no voice answered Merlin, whose anger was turning into fear. The time for quiet knocks was over, and he was banging on the doors loudly, yelling questions. He only achieved the opposite. Arthur wasn't even answering him by screaming to leave him alone anymore, no, there came no more answers at all. What was Arthur doing in there? Merlin wanted to know. Why did he want to be left alone? The only thing Merlin knew was that if Arthur didn't open the doors very soon, he'd probably use a tiny bit of magic, to open the locks on Arthurs doors. But of course he couldn't – Arthur didn't know about his magic and it was supposed to stay that way. He sighed and let himself slide from the wall to the floor. He sat there for a few minutes, his arms wrapped around his legs, trying to think with an empty head. He didn't even notice Gaius, who walked passed him and pulled a sad face.

''Was the prince so frightened of you in a gift box that he locked himself up?'' he said jokingly and he added: ''Merlin?''

Merlin didn't see the humour in that. ''Oh, that's very funny,'' he said sarcastic, as far as that was possible in his mood – it sounded somewhat dull because he didn't have the strength to try harder.

That was where Gaius saw he had been a bit unfair. He got down on one knee to be able to look Merlin in the eyes and asked him what was going on, being more serious this time.

''Well, I don't know,'' Merlin answered uncertain, ''Arthur wasn't allowed to go horse riding, but he insisted on going with Uther and Morgana even though he was feeling sick just minutes before that. I don't know, it is like he doesn't want to stay here... where I am too. So he locked the doors of his chambers.''

Gaius had this look, when he'd figured out a solution. And that look could be seen on his face at that moment. He'd always been the wisest man Merlin knew and Merlin appreciated every advice he was given by him, including this one. ''First, Merlin; you shouldn't take this so personally,'' Gaius told him, what made him relax a little. ''And second; Does the prince already have his Christmas presents here?''

Merlin shook his head.

''Do you think you can fetch them here? In the meantime I'll make sure to get into his chambers for a little 'examination', because the king ordered me to do so,'' Gaius winked. He was talking in a low voice now, otherwise the plan was doomed to fail.

''Thank you, Gaius,'' Merlin nodded, ''you're a good friend.''

''You're a good boy, Merlin. Make sure others never let you down, you're standing way above them. And if they let you down, they might not be a true friend of yours.'' He looked Merlin, who was listening very carefully, in the eyes, to see if he was understood. He was. ''And now go,'' Gaius told him. ''I'll take care of this.''

Merlin hurried to Uthers chambers, that hopefully weren't locked as well. And if so, what was wrong with a little magic now and then?

* * *

A knock sounded on Arthurs doors. Just when he thought he had some privacy, the knocking started again. Great, Arthur thought. That's bloody fantastic.

''I thought I had told you to leave me alone!'' he snapped. ''What is going on in that brainless mind of yours, aren't my words clear enough?''

''Well, well, those aren't friendly words, sire,'' was the answer.

Arthur directly knew that voice wasn't Merlins. ''Uh, I'm sorry, Gaius.''

''Tell Merlin that.''

Arthur let out a growl, that was muffled by the pillow he had hidden his face in. ''OK, I will,'' he said unconvincing, ''and why are you here?''

''Kings orders, my lord. I have to examine you.''

''I'm _sure_, I'm not ill.''

''And ĺ'm sure the king said you truly looked ill,'' Gaius said back.

'''Kay then,'' Arthur mumbled unpleased. It took him some time to drag himself out of bed. He felt miserable. If he opened the doors for Gaius, sooner or later he would have to let Merlin in as well. And he could never ever face Merlin again without feeling his stomach twisting and turning. Maybe he could never face him again without the blushing or the trembling legs. What was he supposed to do about that? Arthur noticed all these things, but didn't want to form a conclusion. Conclusions frightened him, because they sounded so permanent, like they couldn't be changed. In the position Arthur was right now, he wanted to do everything in his power to turn things around. To go back to what there used to be between Merlin and him. But there was no such thing.

Arthur felt bad as well, because Merlin had travelled all the way down to this place, to be there with Christmas. He felt as if he was completely ruining everything today. It was his duty to talk to Merlin. Arthur couldn't just shut him out, that was undeserved on Merlins side.

All these thoughts, that shot through his head within seconds, made him put aside his childish behaviour and made him _man up_.

Unlocking the doors, he listened and obeyed to everything Gaius said. He didn't struggle when Gaius wanted him to lay down, and neither did he struggle when Gaius wanted to use his temperature gauge. Arthur even answered like a well-behaved man to the questions he was asked.

''Well, I think it's safe to say you're not sick,'' Gaius began, ''your temperature is quite –''

''Sire?'' a voice said silently. It was Merlin, who stopped in the door opening. Merlin, who was almost afraid to open his mouth. He didn't have the self-confidence to walk right into Arthurs room, so he waited for an invitation.

''Merlin,'' Arthur said, with the thermometer still in his mouth. His body temperature immediately shot up a few degrees more, he could feel it. Quickly, and unnoticeable for Gaius – who looked at Merlin –, he removed the thermometer from his mouth. ''Hey,'' Arthur said awkwardly, with a bit of a crooked smile.

It remained silent for a moment. Then Merlin assumed Arthur wasn't thát mad at him anymore, so he dared to walk into his room. ''I have your presents,'' he explained his visit, pointing at the sword and the horse hoof in his hands, ''shall I put them... there? Or there?''

''You choose. Anywhere is just fine with me as long as I can find it back.''

Merlin smiled a bit, relaxing at the tone of Arthurs voice. He secretly hoped Arthur had slept when he banged at the doors so loudly. He felt a bit ashamed, and it looked like that feeling was likewise. They both looked around each other, or better said, looked at the ground when talking to each other, embarrassed by their own actions before.

Then Arthur called him. He got up, leaning on one arm. ''Wait, Merlin,'' he said, ''hand over the hoof, will you?''

''As you wish, sire.''

''Um, I... uh... Arthur,'' he reacted clumsy, ''you can call me Arthur.''

Merlin was surprised by this sudden request. ''If that's what you wish, sire,'' he said seriously, but with a happy undertone in his voice.

''Arthur. Drop the sire.''

''Right,'' Merlin nodded theatrical. ''Arthur.'' He took a few steps to Arthurs bed, where Gaius was watching this 'amusing' conversation. The last person got up quickly and gathered his medical supplies, except for the thermometer.

''I have to go,'' Gaius said. ''Wait for half an hour and let Merlin measure your temperature again.''

''I thought you said I weren't sick?'' Arthur claimed with frowned eyebrows.

''I did. But you can never be certain enough when it comes to diseases. Measurements on different times can help me form a better picture of the illness of the patient.''

''Very well then,'' Arthur said against his will, ''thank you, Gaius.''

''Always welcome, sire.'' When Gaius left Arthurs chambers, Merlin and Arthur were the only ones to remain.

The tension was noticeable. Arthur moved, now sitting on the edge of his bed instead of lying on it. ''I guess it's just the weather, that makes me perspire,'' he said, to break the eye staring that had been going on for a minute or two. Both pair of eyes hadn't moved at all when looking at each other.

''Yes,'' Merlin said, relieved that Arthur had broken the eye contact they had, as it was becoming too intense. ''Except for the fact,'' he continued, ''that it's winter.'' He chuckled, but Arthurs expression was blurred. He didn't realise what was going on ór maybe he ignored him in order to preserve his pride. Instead of laughing at Arthurs silliness, Merlin reached out the hoof to him. Blindly, Arthur took it and thanked him.

After the thanks, Merlin thought it was logical to pull his hand back, but that movement was made impossible. Arthurs hands rested on Merlins hand, the hand that was holding Morgana's gift.

Arthurs hands were warm and strong, because of all the battlefield training he'd gone through. Merlin felt the urge to pull his hand back shrinking with every second that passed. After ten seconds, he wished he could freeze this moment and live in it forever. Arthur didn't seem willing to pull back as well. Instead, he thought it was the perfect moment to clear his throat and start a conversation.

''Merlin,'' he spoke in a mutter.

''Yes, Arthur,'' Merlin mouthed soundless.

''Forgive me for my rude behaviour.'' Arthur sounded genuine about this apology. ''I didn't know what was happening to me. I got angry because, because I was... scared. And I still am.''

''Of what?''

''Of drawing conclusions.''

''You shouldn't worry.'' Merlin dared to put his free hand on Arthurs. Even though, he was afraid of rejection, but he didn't know another way to comfort the man on the side of the bed, who looked like a mess.

''Why shouldn't I worry?'' Arthur answered, ''for the first time in my entire life, it's like something is taking over my mind, taking over my body. And I can't resist it. It happens.''

''What refers 'it' to?'' Merlin played innocent.

Arthur whispered, glancing at the ground: ''The twisting in my stomach. The trembling legs.''

Merlin wanted to stroke Arthurs golden hair from his face tenderly, but he couldn't. He would only make it harder for himself, for he wasn't sure of his feelings as well. So he made no sound at all.

When Arthur looked up at him, as if he was trying to figure out whether he was going to receive an answer to his honest words or not, Merlin freed his hands and murmured a quiet 'I'm so sorry' to him.

''I really am,'' was the last addition to his excuse, before he left the room with a painful expression on his face.

When Merlin had gone away, Arthur got up and threw the heavy hoof with all the piled-up, unwished feelings he had, through his chambers. It hit a wall of old stones. He had done it intentionally, but he still jumped up at the loud 'bang'. After that, he covered his face in his hands, pacing up and down his chambers. He was left more messed up than ever.


	4. Chapter 4 Some wise advice

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 4**

''MERLIN! FOR THE LAST TIME: WE HAVE TO GO!''

Merlin slowly opened his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. ''Coming,'' he grumbled. The sun already pierced through his window: a new day had begun. He walked over to the window to see if the snow was already melting, but the difference in height with yesterday couldn't be seen with human eyes. However, since Merlin was a warlock, he did see that the snow was melting (after rubbing his lazy eyes). He was quite happy about it, for this meant Alena would make it to Camelot in time. He was excited for her visit, he had missed her a lot.

Thinking about his schedule today as servant of the king-to-be, he dressed himself. He forbade himself to forget about polishing Arthurs armour. He also told himself to not cross the 'line' again. The line between servant and prince, which had been crossed too easily yesterday. No, he'd take his mind of this matter. He already thought about it enough for a lifetime.

''MERLIN!'' The sound of Gaius' voice made him shake his head, as if he could make all his memories and thoughts disappear as easy as that.

After packing his bag very hastily, he left the castle with Gaius. They went to the Lower Town to deliver people's medicines, and had a little talk.

''Did you measure Arthurs temperature?'' Gaius asked, curious to hear the answer.

''Er, no,'' Merlin said, ''sorry about that.'' I was busy holding his hands, he added in his head.

''Don't worry about it,'' Gaius said, ''I didn't think it was necessarily anyways.''

''How do you mean?''

Gaius looked at him. ''The minute you walked into the room, I just knew.''

''You knew what?'' Merlin said, puzzled by this sentence. He took an apple from his bag, that would have to quell his hunger until he was home again for a real breakfast.

He just took a bite from the apple when Gaius came with the following: ''Sometimes your view really is a bit blurred, isn't it? Don't you see? The boy is madly in love with you. He's only too afraid to fully admit it.''

''What?'' Merlin choked, almost swallowing the piece of his apple, ''Arthur? In love with me? Don't be ridiculous, Gaius. And I thought you were the wisest man of Camelot. If there was a competition about that, I'd rather bet my gold on a toad.''

''Isn't that what you call Arthur?''

Merlin blushed unintentionally. ''Since when are you so observant?'' Why the bloody hell was 'toad' the first word he came up with?

''You know what they say,'' Gaius said, without answering Merlin, ''what the heart thinks, the mouth speaks.'' He stopped at a little house and knocked on the door. A friendly woman, Lillian was her name if Merlin wasn't mistaken, opened the door and received her medicine. She thanked Gaius and wished Merlin and him a good day. Gaius answered gratefully, but Merlin stood there, tongue-tied because of Gaius statement before.

''Fine,'' he said after quite some time, ''maybe I like him as well.''

''Maybe?'' Gaius said, unsatisfied with this confession.

''I don't know, 'kay? I need time to think,'' Merlin frowned.

''He's a prince, Merlin, princes don't wait. There will be a whole queue of people waiting for his love.''

''I know! But... don't you understand?'' Merlin looked in pain. ''I'm his _servant_. It will never work out!''

Gaius had no answer on that, since he wasn't such a fool not to understand.

''And yesterday, I kind of rejected him,'' Merlin added, ''I cannot count on the fact that he'll wait for me. And like you said, there are plenty of people who would kill to be admired by Arthur. We're in such a weird position right now. What cán I do?''

''You should act like you normally do. You shouldn't change for anyone.''

''Normally it is then,'' Merlin agreed, and he sighed. He had no better option.

* * *

When Merlin entered Arthurs chambers, Arthur was still asleep. Just like Merlin, he had trouble arousing. Merlin placed his fingers on the sheet very carefully, afraid to touch Arthur. What if Arthur would scream at him when he'd awake? Or worse, that he wouldn't say anything at all and just ignore Merlin for the rest of the day.

Merlin grabbed Arthurs shoulders very lightly, and jolted him a bit.

The last person moaned tiredly if he really had to wake up, and Merlins bright voice echoed through the room: ''Yes Ar – ... Sire.'' He wasn't entirely sure if he could call him Arthur at this moment.

''Is that you, Merlin?'' Arthur asked, only one eye opened.

''Yes, it's me.'' Merlin took a step back, opened Arthurs windows and gathered his clothes. ''Uther wants to have breakfast with you and Morgana,'' he pointed out.

''Ugh,'' Arthur reacted, ''when?''

''In about ten minutes?''

Arthur shot up in his bed. ''Argh! Couldn't you have warned me earlier? There's really only saw-dust in that head of yours, aren't I right?''

''If you say so,'' Merlin showed a crooked smile and thought everything between them was alright again. He followed Gaius advice and it was working out quite nicely so far.

They kept on talking about silly things and Arthur mainly talked about Merlins stupidity. Merlin was glad yesterday wasn't brought up again, but on the other side it was worse to act like it had never happened. If he wasn't inexperienced with these matters, he would have brought it up himself. And okay, to be honest, he was afraid of bringing it up. He thought the last point counted for Arthur as well.

That was why they acted like nothing had ever happened when there was something happening right on the spot.

While Arthur was being dressed, he felt Merlins cold fingertips run over his body. He'd never noticed this before, because he was never paying attention to the little touches, but now, shivers ran through his whole body. He knew Merlin felt his goose bumps. If there was one thing Arthur disliked, it was that things like this happened completely out of his control.

Focus, Arthur, he thought to himself. Merlin isn't interested in you. He ran off yesterday. You've just pulled yourself together, so keep yourself together.

* * *

Arthur entered the dining room with Merlin by his side. Morgana and Uther were already seated, and Merlin quickly got to Arthurs chair, offering him to take a seat.

''Thank you,'' Arthur said, looking into Merlins heavenly blue eyes. He swallowed, stunned by the beauty of those irises. On his turn, Merlin gazed back at Arthur, but he was the one to remember there were more people in the room – so he turned away to get a water jug.

Arthurs feelings were confirmed. He was certain now that Merlin didn't like him. He sat down, but only because he was as hungry as a bear, not because he wanted to look at Morgana's hungry eyes, that were observing every single movement in the room.

After breakfast, when Merlin was busy cleaning the table with Gwen, Arthur hurried outside, out of the city, to the fields outside the castle walls. They couldn't be called fields, they were more like giant snow heaps. He hoped that some fresh air would do him good. He didn't care he might get a cold – all he wanted was to be away from the castle.

Out of the blue, a snowball hit his back.

''What the –'' Arthur started furiously, but then he saw the king's ward, who wore a satin, green dress and above that, a cloak, made of white fur. ''Morgana,'' he said.

She grinned, her face glowing in the sun. ''Sorry about that.''

''I suppose I could throw one back at you right now, but I've learnt not to hurt a lady.'' Arthur always thought if Morgana wasn't so unbearable at some times, they could have been.

''Very sweet,'' she said.

''Why did you follow me?'' Arthur asked, but he'd seen it in her face already. ''Is this about Merlin? I'm not –'' He wanted to finish his denial, but Morgana cut him off.

''I saw the way you were looking at him,'' she confessed. ''And I saw the way he was looking at you. You cannot deny that there's something going on between the two of you.''

Arthur sighed and shook his head. He didn't trust his own mind these days. ''No, there's not. I don't like him, he doesn't like me. Nothing will ever happen between us.''

''Arthur,'' Morgana tried, ''please...'' She put her hand on Arthurs shoulder, an unsuccessful try to comfort him, because he just walked away, ignoring the soft hands of Morgana, the hands that were put right there, on his shoulder, not only to comfort him, but to make him tell the truth about Merlin. To make him say the things he never dared to say out loud, because he knew that was all she wanted to hear.

''Fine!'' Arthur exclaimed, ''I cannot deny my feelings! I long for him, Morgana, like I've never longed for somebody else. I want to run my fingers through his hair, I want to inhale his scent, and yes, I do want to kiss him. But all of this can't be, because I'm the future king of Camelot, and hé is my servant. How could that ever be?''

''Merlin is more than a servant. For us all. He's my friend, and he could be your beloved one. He is the one that can make you happy.''

''He doesn't make me happy. The last days I've thought about us... that way, only made me miserable. And Morgana, you know what? Merlin doesn't even like me. He made that clear enough.''

''He does!'' Morgana cried out, ''there's no doubt about that! You should image how difficult this must be for him.''

''_You_ should imagine how difficult this is for _me_,'' Arthur said harshly.


	5. Chapter 5 A master plan

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 5**

Morgana looked him in the eyes. ''I understand all of your feelings,'' she said, ''I know how it feels, I understand.''

After a few seconds, Arthur laughed in her face, finding the whole situation ludicrous. Then, the laugh around his lips vanished, and he pointed at Morgana. ''No, actually. No, you don't know how it feels! And you know what the fun part is?'' he continued brutally. ''That _this_ mess I'm in right now, is entirely your fault!'' It kind of was right? Morgana had been the one who brought up the subject – Arthur was almost convinced he wouldn't have felt all these things for Merlin if she hadn't spoken with him about it. Or would it have been just a matter of time before he would have found out about it himself?

Clearly, Morgana was shocked by his words. ''How could you say such a thing!'' she said to him. ''I only want to help you!''

''Oh, are we going to play saint now?'' Arthur said, without thinking straight. ''Well, you're not dealing with any homosexual feelings are you?''

Morgana's eyes widened. ''Excuse me? You're an ass, Arthur Pendragon.'' She was truly hurt by his words. ''And I thought you changed,'' she whispered, ''but I guess you can blame me for thinking that.'' She walked towards the castle, but stopped for a moment. ''I hope you freeze to death,'' she spoke, with a voice as cold as ice. She slowly turned around and then walked away without giving Arthur one single look.

With her gone away, Arthur came to realise how stupid he'd been once more. Why wouldn't things ever work out in his favour? He yelled, mad at himself, and kicked a tree out of anger (that actually hurt a lot). He let out a scream, clamped his foot between his hands and hopped through the fields on one leg. His foot had to be bruised, because he wasn't able to walk on it normally. _Great_!

He let himself sit on the wet snow, under the tree he just kicked. As if a bruised foot wasn't enough, a whole package of snow dangerously moved on the branches of the tree.

''No, no, no, no,'' Arthur started, but all the cold snow fell on him. ''Aaargh!'' sounded the snowman.

He wiped some snow of his hair and clothes while he was still sitting, and he realised how cold he was. He shivered.

Stand up, Arthur, he instructed himself, try to walk to the castle. When you're there, you can have a hot bath. So that was what Arthur did. He scraped his courage together to walk the road to the castle on his painful foot. He trembled the whole way to the city, with still some snow in his neck and shirt.

Four more days and it was new year's eve, he suddenly thought, four more days until the new year's ball. His father would love to see him bring a girl at his side for the special occasion. But what could he do? He couldn't ask Merlin. If there was a tiny tiny chance Merlin would like him as well, and he based this upon Morganas point of view, he was certain that Merlin would say no. Merlin could be an idiot sometimes, but he wasn't that stupid not to understand the king wouldn't be pleased with this.

Arthur reached the castle, and was welcomed by Guinevere, whose bright face formed a serious line on the lips. ''What happened, sire?'' she asked worried. ''You look...''

''Dashing? Stunning?'' Arthur suggested lamely.

''Not today, I'm afraid,'' Gwen laughed. When she realised Arthur was looking a bit moody because of that, she apologised very clumsy: ''I'm so sorry, er, sire, I just, I mean look at you...''

Arthur gave her another grumpy look.

''Sorry.''

''Don't worry about me.'' He wanted to walk up the stairs to the halls of the castle, but his foot made it an impossible mission.

Gwen saw him in pain and decided to offer a helping hand. ''Allow me to help you out, sire,'' she said, ''because that must hurt a lot.''

''It does, actually, yeah.'' Arthur grinded his teeth when Gwen put her arms under his arms and helped him hop onto the stairs.

''You're cold, aren't you? You're freezing cold. Why didn't you put a coat on?''

Arthur thought of what to answer, but his brain didn't want to help him out with this one. He remained silent.

''Oops,'' Gwen said, ''I see I hit a sensitive issue right there. I'll just keep my mouth shut.''

Arthur found his voice back. ''No, why would you? I mean, you probably know it too. I might tell the whole population as well!''

''Well, now you come up with it...'' Gwen began, ''Morgana told me that... she told me... it.''

''It?'' Arthur said, trying to provoke an answer from her side.

''Yes, you know,'' Gwen blushed heavily, ''you and Merlin.'' They entered the castle and Gwen insisted on bringing Arthur to his room. Arthur was as silent as a grave. It was just a matter of time before the whole castle knew it, and even though he said the whole population was allowed to know it, he was afraid of the reactions it would cause.

He had to be more careful, he decided. But that was the whole problem of being in love: you couldn't control your own body! You weren't in a position to decide when you should or shouldn't blush. You had no saying in that.

''I personally think,'' Gwen came up with the following clever words, ''the two of you are too afraid when it comes to love. You should let go of all your principles, because with love, it isn't about who you are or what you do, it's about being with each other, making the other one happy.''

''I'm getting so much lectures today,'' Arthur responded. He thought about Guinevere's words for a while, and then added: ''But... yes. You're right. That's what love is about.''

She showed him a honest smile. They stopped before Arthurs chambers. ''So what can I do?'' Arthur asked.

''I have an idea,'' she said. ''Tomorrow, the preparations for the ball will begin. Not very handy, but I'll talk to Morgana, who organises the whole thing. She'll release you from your duties.''

''She won't. She admitted she hoped I'd freeze to death.''

''I'm sure she had her reasons,'' Gwen spoke her mind. When she heard her mouth speak those words, she immediately started to apologise: ''I'm sorry, sire, please forgive my rudeness. I'm such a stupid–''

''There's no need for apologies. You are right once more. It was my fault she became mad at me.'' Arthurs eyes rested on the ground. ''Could you please tell her I'm sorry for being so rude?''

''I will,'' Gwen promised.

''Now, what am I supposed to do when she will release my duties?'' he asked curiously.

Gwen took a deep breath. ''You'll go hunting.'' She made it sound like it was something he had never done before.

''Hunting? As in animals or...''

''Both,'' Gwen smirked at her master plan.


	6. Chapter 6 Merry late Christmas

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 6**

The next day, after Arthur had been awoken and dressed by Merlin, he gave him some time off to eat breakfast. That he only did because he saw Morgana walking through the corridors and he wanted to talk to her.

''Off you go, Merlin. Have some breakfast and I'll meet you in twenty minutes in the dining room,'' Arthur said hastily.

''You're not joking around are you?'' Merlin asked, before he left Arthurs chambers. Normally he'd have to wait after the prince his breakfast to eat, or he'd have to wake up before dawn.

''I'm not joking, Merlin,'' Arthur confirmed.

''You obviously seem in a good mood today. Thanks very much, sire.''

''Arthur,'' Merlin was corrected.

That little gesture made Merlin grin like an idiot. He had heard Arthur asking for Guinevere's advice the other day because he'd been cleaning Arthurs chambers at the time, and he was itching to go on this trip. It seemed Arthur had planned to be a lot more flexible about this whole situation. The hunting trip surely sounded promising in Merlins ears. He hurried to eat his breakfast – with a big smile on his face.

Arthur on the other hand, hurried to Morgana, who was walking towards the dining room. As he reached her, he took her by the arm and made her turn around.

''Hey,'' he said, a little lost, unknowing how to start this conversation.

''Good morning to you, too,'' she said. ''Why did you have to grab me like that?''

''Because I wanted to make an apology.''

''Gwen already told me,'' Morgana answered, ''but I'd like to hear it again.'' She was evil, Arthur thought, shaking his head. She always had her own plans of how things were supposed to go. ''I'm sorry, Morgana,'' Arthur apologised after all, ''I shouldn't have attacked you like that.''

''Alright then. I shouldn't have wished you to death. That was kind of mean.''

''Kind of, huh?'' Arthur quoted her. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Arthur missed those moments – moments were everything was alright. When they tried to pull their faces serious again, Morgana said: ''So you're really going to do it.''

''Yes.''

''You're going to take a chance.'' She sounded hopeful.

''Yes.''

She smiled. ''You know, Arthur, I'm proud of you. I mean that.'' Arthur believed her, for she looked really proud at him. He smiled back.

''I've informed Uther about your hunting trip,'' Morgana spoke, ''and it's OK with him as long as you shoot some good meat for dinner. And I'm the one who is responsible for the ball. And I say: no ball duties today.''

Arthur hugged Morgana spontaneously. ''Thank you,'' he said in a low voice. ''It means a lot to me.''

''I'm glad you finally got the courage to set things in motion,'' she answered, padding his back softly. She pulled him back and said: ''Let's have some breakfast.''

* * *

''Arthur,'' Uther called when they were all sitting around the table, ''You're going hunting today.''

''That's right,'' Arthur answered, taking a sip from his goblet with water. ''I am.''

''What are you planning on shooting?'' his father wanted to know.

''Mmm, let me see,'' Arthur reacted to his question, ''some squirrels, rabbits, maybe a deer if I'm having a lucky day.'' He looked at Uther.

''You are going to have a lucky day,'' the last person said, ''the sun is shining again, so the roads will be a lot more snow free than they were yesterday.''

''That sounds great.'' Arthurs eyes shot to the door, where Merlin was slipping silently into the dining room. It wasn't very silently, because he accidentally dropped a vase with red roses in it. ''O, shit,'' he cursed, ''o, god.'' Then he looked up, very ashamed, because the whole royal family was looking at him with this angry expression on their faces. If looks could kill, Merlin would have stopped breathing already.

''That is a vase from aunt Olivia!'' Morgana gasped.

''It was,'' Arthur said dryly. He decided to help Merlin pick up the splinters and so he stood up and walked towards him. When he reached Merlin, he whispered: ''You're the dumbest person I've ever met.''

''Likewise,'' Merlin joked.

''Ha!'' Arthur snorted. ''That's a good one! Off you go, prepare the horses. We're going on a hunting trip.''

''A hunting trip?'' Merlin played surprised, ''I didn't know.'' It was coming, it was coming. He was almost exploding with excitement. Arthur díd like him.

''You do now. And you're coming with me,'' Arthur said without blushing (what was quite an accomplishment for him).

Merlin smiled, but then pulled a sad face. ''I shouldn't, I make too much noise.'' He wanted to know if Arthur would insist on his presence, if he'd stick to the original plan he'd made up with Guinevere.

''Well, someone needs to carry my stuff, right?'' Arthur winked, then walked to his chair again. ''Now go. George will take care of this.'' Merlin nodded and disappeared to the horse stables and Arthur wanted to clap for himself because of this genius plan, called 'teasing George'. ''Guinevere, please fetch George for us will you?'' he ordered. ''And make him repair the vase.''

''As you wish, sire,'' she answered, smiling because she wasn't the one that had to transform the broken vase into a complete one again.

* * *

When Arthur walked outside, Merlin had already packed their stuff and prepared the horses. He had even packed Arthurs weapons for the trip.

''Thank you Merlin,'' Arthur said to him. ''Let's go.''

They both got on their horses and rode away.

''I'm glad I can get away for a second,'' Merlin confessed, ''the castle has a claustrophobic effect on me the last few days.''

''Yeah,'' Arthur agreed, ''I know what you mean. I'm glad Morgana released me from my duties.''

''What duties?''

''They want me to help organising the ball on new year's eve,'' Arthur explained.

Merlin looked at him. ''Totally forgot about that one!'' he said, ''anyways, I'm looking forward to it, aren't you?''

''I don't know, my father probably wants me to have a 'date', he doesn't want to see a bachelor at the party.'' Arthur looked troubled.

''You should ask someone you like.'' Merlin really wanted to know what Arthurs reaction on that would be, but he was only answered with a mutter. ''Mmm,'' it sounded.

The horses were galloping through the snow now, the white sludge sopping under their hoofs. The forests weren't far away anymore, and they arrived at the place to be within ten minutes. Merlin got of his horse, and began to put all the heavy baggage on his back.

''What are you doing?'' Arthur called, ''are you crazy?'' He snatched a bag out of Merlins hands and put it on his own back. ''You're not going to carry all of that!''

''But you said earlier –'' Merlin tried to grab the bag, but Arthur prevented him from doing so.

''I don't care what I said earlier, I do not want you to get a hernia, OK?'' He watched Merlin carefully, and Merlin seemed to agree at last.

''Alright,'' Merlin said. ''Let's hunt.''

''Well, I had this idea,'' Arthur started, ''maybe you could gather some eatable plants, and I could hunt.''

Merlin pulled up one eyebrow and laughed. ''Arthur, have you seen this? There's snow everywhere, I don't think it'll be easy to find plants here.'' He kicked some snow away. ''It's one big white brown mess. Disgusting snow.''

''It might be that way, but you haven't even tried,'' Arthur said annoyed.

Merlin heard the irritated tone in his voice. ''OK, OK, I'm already searching, you bone-idle toad!'' he said back.

''Pfff,'' Arthur laughed and he moved towards Merlin to ruffle his hair. ''Left your manners at home again?''

''Maybe,'' Merlin smirked, and he dared to move his hand, to lay it on Arthurs jaw. ''Go hunt then,'' he told him. Arthur took Merlins hand and placed it on Merlins chest, on the left side, where his heart was. ''First, I want to make sure we're OK. Then I'll go hunt.'' He tried to read Merlins eyes, to see if Merlin didn't lie while answering him.

''We are OK,'' Merlin assured him honestly, and that was enough for Arthurs heart to skip a beat.

When Merlin was out of sight, Arthur let his bag slide of his back and opened it. Just before they had gone off, he had put something very romantic in it, but he had done it very secretly, for Merlin wasn't allowed to know about it – yet.

Before letting Merlin know about the object, it had to be placed in a tree. Arthur walked through the forest, trying to find a low tree, but just high enough so their heads wouldn't touch the object. The walk was though because his foot still hurt a lot, but he was brave, and finally, he found a beautiful oak, with lots of branches. A few of those branches weren't so high, but still, Arthur had to jump a few times to be certain the object was secured on the tree and it wouldn't fall out of it. Perfect, he thought, and he couldn't help but thinking that he was a true genius.

As if it was nothing, Arthur shot two rabbits, so Merlin wouldn't suspect him of sleeping or fixing his hair for the entire time he was gone. OK then, let's be honest for a second: just before he called Merlins name, he did fix his hair, as the fly boy he was.

''It's time, Arthur,'' he said to himself. ''You can do this. _You're the man_.'' He scraped all his courage together and counted down.

3... 2... 1! ''Merlin!'' he screamed, hoping that person was still within ear-shot. Unintentionally, his legs were starting to feel weak, his hands were feeling sweaty. He was so nervous. Come on, he thought, please answer.

''Yes?'' a voice echoed back through the trees. ''Arthur?'' Merlins voice. He'd recognize that voice out of a thousand.

''Come over here, Merlin,'' Arthur yelled back, ''you need to see this!''

''Already co – argh!'' A growl was heard by Arthurs ears. ''That hurt!'' Merlin had made a fall, no guessing about that. He'd probably tripped over his own feet – and that thought made Arthur smile. Merlin was a dork now and then. A dork that made him smile. That had made him smile for years now. And again, Guinevere was right: love was about happiness. You could make the other one happy by being who you were – and that was beautiful.

Finally, Merlin reached the wide area where the oak Arthur picked out was the only tree standing there. He threw his bag on the ground, puffing loudly.

''What is it,'' Merlin asked, out of breath, ''that is so important that it made me bruise my foot?'' He bent over to inspect it.

Arthur thought it was time to brag. ''We're rowing in the same boat my friend – although I'm sure my bruised foot hurts a lot more than yours,'' he said.

''Pfff,'' Merlin answered. ''Now what is it you've called me for?''

Arthur cleared his throat. ''So I had just shot these two rabbits,'' he began his made up story, and he held the rabbits up to proof it, ''when I saw... _this_.'' He pointed to the only tree in the area. On one, thick branch hung a plant with green, oval leaves and white berries. Merlin saw directly what it was.

''A mistletoe!'' he concluded, astonished. ''How did _that_ grow here?''

''I've read mistletoes –''

''Do you read?'' Merlin exclaimed in shock.

Arthur gave him a severe look. ''Please. I have read mistletoes are plants that grow attached to branches of trees. Just like this one.'' He reached out his hand to touch a white berry.

Merlin moved towards the plant to check if it was real what his eyes saw. He jumped a few times to see how it had grown to the tree, but he couldn't really discover it. Then a red ribbon jumped into his eye and he burst out in laughter.

''This is amazing, Arthur,'' he said, ''a real mistletoe, bought in Camelot!''

Arthur pouted and didn't know what to say. He laughed a bit with Merlin, but was actually just waiting for him to stop laughing, what happened after quite some time. Did he screw it up?

''But it's sweet,'' Merlin said, and Arthur let out a relieved sigh, ''very sweet, to be honest.'' He hadn't known until now that Arthur could be a real romanticist, so this was a nice surprise.

That cheered Arthur up a bit. ''Ehr,'' he began, rubbing his sweaty hands to his shirt, ''I... we... we started off the wrong way the last few days, don't you think?''

Merlin sighed. ''I suppose you could say that. They haven't been the nicest days of my life. But in the end I'm glad they've happened. What about you?''

''Yes,'' Arthur was able to say, ''I'm glad they've happened. Otherwise we wouldn't be standing here.''

''Exactly,'' was Merlins answer.

''You sound so sure of everything, Merlin. Or is that just my imagination?''

Merlin laughed, but not too loud. ''I'm more unsure than you, Arthur, you can trust me on that one.'' He looked at the mistletoe again, something that was caught by Arthurs eyes. Hadn't Arthur brought the mistletoe all the way down here to be able to kiss the person he'd fallen in love with? It was time to make this thing work.

''I want to give us another chance,'' Arthur suddenly whispered.

Merlins attention was drawn back to Arthurs face. ''Was there ever a chance for us?'' he wondered out loud, looking at Arthurs gorgeous face.

''Yes,'' Arthur responded firmly, ''yes there was.'' He moved even more towards Merlin, their bodies touching each other. He looked at Merlins face, and couldn't stop himself from stroking Merlins cheekbones. Then, Arthur leaned in to kiss him, without thinking. Merlin immediately responded by grabbing Arthurs face, kissing him back very tenderly. It was beyond everything they both could've imagined. On this cold winter day, they were reliving the Christmas they were supposed to have from the moment where Merlin had surprised him by hiding in a gift box. Now, under an in Camelot bought mistletoe by Arthur Pendragon, their lips were touching. With bodies pressed to each other, they were overwhelmed by the intensity the kiss brought upon them.

They both ran out of breath, so they pulled back, only to stand there for a while, gazing at each other. Merlin gave Arthur a few pecks on the lips, then laid his head on Arthurs shoulder. Arthur followed his movement. For a long time, they just stood there, embracing each other.

The mistletoe hung above them very innocently.

* * *

_A little note: This chapter was inspired by Pigeonista's comment: I hope they kiss under the mistletoe! X_

_I hope I lived up to your wish :)_


	7. Chapter 7 Safe and Sound

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 7**

Merlin didn't know how long they'd stood there. He didn't care either – but the sun was starting to set and everyone was probably wondering why they'd been away for so long.

He took Arthurs hand, happy how it felt like such an easy thing to do, and squeezed it.

''The others might start to worry where we are,'' he explained.

Arthur sighed. ''Why do I have to be a prince again? I swear to you Merlin, if I was born as a normal citizen like you, I'd run off with you. To somewhere nice.'' His eyes met Merlins. ''But only if you'd want to,'' he added unsecure.

I'm not that normal as well, was Merlins first thought. However, he was flattered by Arthurs words, and he let that show by kissing Arthurs right cheek.

''Let's go back then,'' he murmured in Arthurs ear, ''although the thought of running away with you is a very tempting one.''

He felt Arthurs smile appear, and couldn't help but feeling he was the luckiest person in the entire world. He had had a perfect day – even beyond that. The things that had taken place were indescribable , there were simply no words for what had happened with a little help of Arthurs mistletoe... the mistletoe!

''Arthur,'' Merlin said and he gestured to the mistletoe, ''what are we going to do with that?''

Arthur looked up to the object, and the corners of his mouth curled up when seeing it. ''Let it hang there,'' he spoke formally, imitating the voice of his father, ''as a sign of our love.'' He made it seem as if it was a joke, but was very honest when it came to the meaning of his words.

''Yes, sire,'' Merlin chuckled, his heart skipping a few beats. After that, it began to pound like crazy. ''I like you,'' he suddenly said. He stuttered because he was so shy, but he wanted to say it before they returned to Camelot. ''I never really got a chance to say it,'' he continued, ''but –''

Arthurs fingers on his mouth made him silent. ''Be quiet,'' he whispered, but he said it just a bit too loud to call it a whisper.

''Well that's rather rude,'' Merlin exclaimed.

''HUSH!'' it sounded again, and Merlin realised he wasn't ordered to be silent because of his words, but because of something else.

''What?'' he mouthed, holding his breath.

''Thought I heard something.'' Arthur stared into the forest, trying to make out movements in the twilight.

''The wind? A breaking twig?'' Merlin suggested in a low voice. His sight was better than Arthurs, and he hadn't noticed anything suspicious.

Arthur wasn't so convinced of that, so he ordered Merlin to hush again. He sounded angry and pressed his whole left hand to Merlins mouth, to prevent him from talking again.

That didn't stop Merlin though. He didn't understand what the fuss was about, so he removed Arthurs hand from his mouth (which required a lot of effort from him), and snapped: ''Why are you being so uptight? There's no one here, really! Look around you – no one is watching us, trust me. I know we've got to be careful and that I can't hold your hand or kiss you in public, but we'll be just fine.'' Merlin looked down, realising his other hand still held Arthurs'. ''I'll let go of your hand now,'' he said after that, ''if that will make you feel less paranoid, and we'll go home, alright?''

Arthur seemed to relax by those words, slipping his right hand out of Merlins. ''You know, Merlin,'' he began, ''you're right. I'm sorry, I kind of freaked out, I don't know why. There's no one here.''

''Breaking twigs aren't necessarily human's work. There are animals out here, too,'' Merlin calmed the last bits of tensity in his lover down. ''And that's said by someone who _does_ read books instead of watching the pictures in it,'' he joked lightly.

They walked to their horses, but not before Arthur had pushed Merlins shoulder with his full weight. Then he bit his bottom lip and answered to Merlins previous stutter: ''Merlin – you can... your... I mean... I like you. Too. A lot.'' Even Arthur began to stutter: he'd never laid his feelings on the table like that, but he thought Merlin had the right to know. He was still enchanted by the kisses in the forest. Never had he experienced love like that in Camelot, and surely, they had to tone that down a bit when they arrived there again, but he was certain they'd figure something out. And when I become king, he thought, things will be different.

The journey back home went well. There wasn't much talking, but an overload of eye contact and grinning as only fools in love do.

The sun was set, and Merlin felt bad because dinner had probably happened already, so Arthurs rabbits weren't to be eaten this day. Now that would be a shame, Merlin thought, and he broke the silence between Arthur and him by saying: ''I'll cook you food tonight.''

Arthur looked as if he was about to fall of his horse. ''Did I hear that right?'' he asked.

''You did. I'll prepare it in the palace's kitchens.''

''If you say so. But I didn't know you could cook!''

''There's a lot more you don't know about me,'' Merlin said challenging.

''Well, we have all the time in the world to figure those things out,'' Arthur answered, accepting this so-called challenge. ''And besides, that can't be much, can it?''

Merlin made a teasing mmm-sound, which irritated Arthur a lot. ''O, come on! You can tell mé!'' Arthur tried not to sound as if he was begging, for that would be pathethic, but was a lot more curious than he was pretending to be. Was there really so much he didn't know about Merlin?

''OK,'' agreed Merlin at last, ''let's see... I kissed Gwen.''

Arthurs jaw dropped and his blue eyes widened. ''No, you didn't!'' he cried out. ''I don't believe it!''

Merlin laughed out loud when seeing the shocked expression on his face. ''It was more like she kissed me. But we did it.''

''IT?'' Arthur exclaimed. This time he actually lost his balance, and made a dangerous move on his horse. He managed to regain his balance, puffing loudly. With one hand, he wiped the sweat of his forehead. That had been very close.

Meanwhile, Merlin gasped for air and yelled 'no', 'god no' very frequently. Then he said: ''The 'it' referred to the kissing part. Please, give me some credit!''

''Thank goodness!'' Arthur said, and he was quite satisfied by Merlins defensive reaction. I'm not going to let a girl get in my way, he thought, not when I'm just having Merlin for my own.

''Now tell me something I don't know about you,'' Merlin demanded.

''Aye, hard one,'' Arthur said, ''you're in my room twenty-four-seven, so I can't imagine there's something you don't know about me.'' He grimaced.

Merlin got quite red by those words. Not only did he _know_ much about Arthur, he'd _seen_ everything, too. ''Arthur,'' he tried nevertheless, ''there must be something.''

After some hard thinking, Arthur told him several things, the first one being that he loved candlelight and red roses. He also confessed that he'd accidentally taken the green ribbon from the gift box where Merlin had been in, with him, and when he'd found out about that yesterday, he'd slept with it under his pillow. ''Which is quite embarrassing...'' he mumbled to himself.

''No,'' Merlin corrected him, ''that's sweet. You're sweet.''

Arthurs face became red as a lighthouse, but he managed to pronounce a thank you.

Time flew and before they knew it, they'd reached Camelot. It was so dark, no one could've seen Arthurs blushing face. Still, he avoided looking into Merlins eyes – Merlin understood.

They were noticed by the guards and when they got off their horses they were immediately joined by the king and his ward, who were obviously informed about their arrival.

Morgana ran to Arthur, hugged him, and said she was glad he was home again. Arthur rubbed her back a bit awkwardly, saying the feeling was likewise.

''Thank god you're safe,'' Uther interrupted their moment, while walking on the last steps of the stairs of the palace. ''We were all so very worried something might have happened to you.''

''I'm alright, father,'' Arthur said, freeing himself from Morgana's embrace.

''What took you so long?'' he was asked and he'd been waiting all along for that question to pop up. ''We were robbed,'' he lied, ''everything I had hunted was gone. We tried to follow the thieves, but it was useless. I'm sorry I disappointed you.''

''You didn't, my son. We've already eaten, because we didn't know when you'd finally return. We're very sorry for that as well. But did you see who the thieves were?'' Uther was curious for the answer, that he got before he'd barely finished his question.

''No,'' two voices claimed at the same time, and a bit too fast to be believable as well. Merlin saw Arthurs face turn and even though it was dark, he could guess the expression on it. ''I'm sorry,'' he apologised quietly, ''my lord.'' He decided to let Arthur handle the situation, for he wasn't a good liar himself. Instead of lying, he brought the horses to their stables, sneaked into the palace with the two rabbits safely put in the bags and was ready to prepare a nice dinner within ten minutes. But first, he had to tell Gaius he was home again.

Merlin knocked on the small door, but was afraid of knocking too loud because Gaius might be asleep. ''Can I come in?'' he whispered.

''Merlin!'' it sounded and the door swung open. ''At last! What have you been doing?'' Gaius came up to Merlin and gave him a tight hug.

''We got hold up.'' Merlin hated to lie, but this was for his own good. And Arthurs. He was glad Gaius couldn't see his face, and so he dared to lie a bit more. ''Robbed, actually,'' he added, repeating Arthurs story. ''We tried to track them down, but it was... useless.''

''O, dear lord. Are you alright?'' Gaius asked, grabbing Merlins shoulders to look him in the eyes.

''Yeah, yeah, I'm OK.''

''You must be hungry,'' Gaius said, ''come over here, I'll make you something to eat.''

No, Merlin thought, brainstorming for a way out of this – because this wasn't supposed to happen. ''Eh,'' he said hastily, ''I just ran into Gwen and she invited me to her house... for dinner. You know, servants make long days.'' He tried his best to sound believable and showed an innocent smile. ''But thanks.''

''Oh,'' Gaius murmured, taking some time to process this, but seemed willingly to give his permission. ''OK then. Have fun.''

''Thanks!'' Merlin yelled, already shutting the door behind him, before Gaius could say anything else. He did, though, what made Merlin cringe. What now? he thought.

''Don't make it too late!'' was the message, and Merlin could breath again. ''Alena will be arriving tomorrow!''

Oh, yeah! Merlin thought, slapping his hand to his forehead. He'd completely forgotten about that.


	8. Chapter 8 Flower power

**Heat of the Moment **

**Chapter 8**

When Merlin walked to the palace kitchens, he thought it would be smart to ask Arthur to help him making this delicious meal, because it took lots of time to clean and cook rabbit meat. And maybe he'd ask him because he didn't want to waste any second he could be with the charming prince. On his way to Arthurs chambers, he heard excited voices whispering and squealing.

What the? he thought. He hid himself behind a wall, peeking to see where the sounds came from. As he looked, he saw Morgana and Guinevere, talking about what happened on some kind of trip... his hunting trip with Arthur! He held his breath so he could hear them better.

''Then I held Arthur,'' he heard Morgana say, ''and he was literally burning with heat.''

''The kind of heat as in –'' Gwen whispered.

''Yes,'' confirmed Morgana, clapping her hands in excitement, ''thát kind of heat.''

''Oh, Milady,'' said Gwen, who shared Morgana's happiness, ''I wish I could have seen their faces.''

''Even though the sun had already set, you should have,'' Morgana admitted, ''you're the one who came up with the plan after all. You're a brilliant servant.''

Gwen cheeks flushed in the dark and she changed the subject because she felt slightly uncomfortable by the compliment. She said in such a low voice that Merlin almost didn't hear it: ''Do you think they kissed?''

Merlin lost it at that point and burst out coughing by hearing Guinevere's question. The two girls clearly felt like they were being spied on, and disappeared from the corridors.

Not very smart, Merlin thought to himself. He hoped they hadn't seen him, but if so, he was just walking to Arthurs chambers to be able to... serve him? Or, more likely, kiss him? No, nothing suspicious going on there. Absolutely nothing, he thought sarcastically.

* * *

Merlin opened Arthurs doors (he wasn't in for the knocking anymore) and saw Arthur staring out of the window.

''Hello,'' he said to get Arthurs attention. This one jumped up at hearing Merlins voice, quickly making his clothes flat and fixing his hair. ''Helleu,'' Arthur echoed back, leaning to the wall next to him very casually. ''_Mer_lin.''

Merlin smirked by the view of Arthur, who was trying his best to look good for him, Merlin, a simple servant (with a big secret). He adored the dork Arthur could be.

''What's up?'' Arthur said in a deep voice, ''my love.''

And Merlin melted. How did he do that – getting his knees to shake, his heartbeat to flutter and his stomach to twist? He pretended like nothing big happened, but couldn't help but stutter a few times before he managed to pronounce the following sentence: ''I thought we could make dinner together.'' He removed his hands from his back so Arthur could see the two rabbits he was holding. ''It takes quite some time to get these ready.''

''Ah, I understand,'' Arthur said ironically, ''you just don't want to be anywhere without me.'' A smuggest smile laid on his lips.

Merlin swallowed hard – how did he know? He wondered if Arthur had read his mind while he was looking at his own, sweaty hands.

''Hey, hey, I was just joking,'' Arthur soothed him, walking towards the troubled boy. He stroked Merlins earlobe, which was extremely soft, he noticed.

Merlin asked, feeling weak by Arthurs touches: ''Joking, or reading my mind?''

Arthur only smiled, and in an impulse, gave Merlin a long tender kiss. ''Let's make ourselves some dinner,'' he said after a while, ''but I warn you, I'm nothing like a master when it comes to cooking.'' Then, placing his hand on Merlins neck and guiding him to the kitchens (even though Merlin had been there way more often), he felt infinite.

''That was disgusting,'' Merlin said, when he cut the last bits of rabbit skin off with a knife. Before that, he'd given Arthur instructions which ingredients to gather. They needed some bacon, butter, mustard, unions, whine, vegetables and flower. Arthur was one clumsy fool when it came to cooking, because he didn't know different than getting all his food served by only snapping his fingers. The process that went before that was totally unfamiliar to him.

No, Merlin hadn't forgotten that one time Arthur had wanted to prepare dinner for Gwen, who'd been so nice to let him stay at her place when he was having an identity crisis. He'd looked at the chicken in her kitchen as if it was going to eat him. Still, Merlin was glad he was here to crack silly jokes, give him cute smiles, longing looks and little pecks on the mouth.

''So,'' Arthur said, waving his hand before the face of Merlin, who hadn't even noticed he was staring. ''What next?''

''I think we can make a fire now,'' Merlin answered with a lot of blinking to make his sleepy eyes work again. ''Baking the meat, adding some salt and pepper, etcetera.''

''Right,'' Arthur said, ''and how do you know this recipe by heart anyway?''

''My mum, Hunith, used to make it,'' Merlin said.

''Used to?'' Arthur quoted confused.

''Used to, or she still does make it. She did when I was younger... I don't know. All I know is that I haven't eaten it since...''

''Since you came here,'' Arthur finished the sentence. ''I see.''

Merlin shuffled the ingredients before him awkwardly, silently – until he felt a light squeeze in his shoulder. ''Let's do your mums recipe justice then,'' Arthur said and he was being honest. He wanted to make the best of this, and his positive energy filled Merlins body. Merlin suddenly felt ready to do this as well. He put all of the cleaned meat in a steel pan, and started baking. He asked Arthur to pass him the flower.

''Thanks Arthur,'' he muttered, more for himself than for Arthur.

''For what?'' was the reaction. ''I thought I'd put the flower somewhere over here, but... I haven't found it yet...''

''For being you,'' Merlin continued out loud. ''Thank you for being you.''

Arthur stopped searching for a moment, and found Merlin looking at him. ''Likewise, I guess.'' He smiled, then let an excited 'I've found it!' hear. He came over to Merlin with the flower in his hand. The kitchen was so big he could have easily stand three meters from Merlin and still work on the same table, but instead he stood right next to him, brushing his shoulder to Merlins. It felt good – it felt right.

''OK then,'' said Merlin, ''now spread the flower over the meat. Not too much, though.''

Arthurs eyes narrowed, as if he was planning to do something. Merlin had noticed, but Arthur added the flower like a brave school boy obeyed his teacher. But when he was done and had almost put the flower away, he gave it a swing. Before Merlin knew it, he was covered with white powder. He gave out a yell, then covered his mouth with his hands. No one could know they were here. Still, Merlin wanted some revenge – so he took a lot of butter and made it melt by his body temperature, only to rub it in Arthurs face, who began sputtering because of that.

''You are one –''

''You began!'' Merlin reminded him, and he laughed. ''You began!''

''But this is bútter!'' Arthur took hold of Merlins wrist and told him to apologize.

''I'm not going to,'' Merlin grinned, locking eyes with Arthur, ''_you apologise_.''

''Or else?'' the blonde prince asked.

''I'll never kiss you again,'' Merlin swore.

Arthur burst out laughing: ''You can't keep that promise!''

''Watch me,'' Merlin said, and he moved his lips to Arthurs, to turn his head just when Arthur wanted to go in for a kiss. Pretending like nothing had happened, he got back to cooking, adding unions, wine and bacon to the meat. He felt Arthurs eyes watching him. From his eye corners he saw that person was slightly speechless by his action, but when he found his words back, he gave in: ''Sorry. I shouldn't have thrown the flower over you.''

''That was a bit mean, wasn't it?''

''But fun as well,'' Arthur admitted with wrinkles from mischief around his eyes.

''Just like the butter,'' Merlin grinned, then he added: ''Could you keep an eye on this? I'll put it in the oven now, and I'll be back before you know it.''

''Don't be away for too long,'' Arthur said.

''I wouldn't dare.''

''OK then,'' Arthur whispered, ''see you soon.''

Merlin walked away, but not before Arthur had stolen a kiss from him.

* * *

Arthur closed the door, where Merlin had come through when he'd returned, behind him. Merlin hadn't been willing to tell him where he had been. Wherever he may have gone, Arthur thought, dinner is ready and I'm starving.

Merlin played cook again, got their dinner out of the oven and added the final touch: some mustard and herbs on the meat and vegetables aside of it. ''Look at that,'' he said like a mother who bragged about how great her kids were, ''doesn't that look like the best meal ever?''

Arthur wasn't in the mood to make a sarcastic comment on that, because Merlin was right – it looked delicious. ''Yeah,'' he said, licking his lips, ''that surely looks promising. Let's go to my chambers.'' They quickly cleaned the palace kitchens, although Arthur had done a lot of that when Merlin had been gone because he was bored. That truly surprised Merlin. ''Wow, you'll start cleaning your own clothes sometime,'' he joked.

''No, because then I'd have to fire this manservant of mine,'' was the simple answer he got – and he liked it.

They had to watch the corridors carefully, for it would do no good if somebody saw them being so close with each other. Merlin expected Morgana to pop up behind a wall everywhere he looked, but nothing happened. As they reached Arthurs chambers Merlin asked for the plate Arthur was holding.

''I can hold it,'' Arthur assured him, ''no worries. And you have your own plate to hold.''

''Give it me though,'' Merlin said, which made Arthur frown. ''What are you up to?''

''Mmm, you'll see,'' Merlin reacted mysteriously. He opened the doors, but not too much, so it was obvious to Arthur he was hiding something from him. The plate vanished from his hands from one second to another and the doors were closed again.

''Count to ten!'' it sounded muffled.

Arthur chuckled and thought: I'm not allowed in my own chambers – what on earth is the fool doing? For one second he thought he might find a naked person on his bed, but Merlin was too prudish for that. And that was a crazy idea – so he made himself forget about it as soon as he could.

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... The anticipation was killing him, and it were only ten seconds! So at the '3' in his mind, he opened the wooden doors – and felt his jaw drop. The room was filled with candlelight: the golden glow flickered upon Merlins face, lighted up his perfectly formed cheekbones and curled up mouth corners.

He looked like an angel, as he stood behind the beautifully laid table, and Arthur wondered how he'd done that all in such a small amount of time. Merlin hadn't been away for long when he left Arthur in the kitchens.

''Magic can be handy now and then,'' Merlin said at once, like he'd read Arthurs thoughts. He looked hopeful and felt like this was the time to tell him, but then the sound of Arthurs laugh bored through his mind. ''Ha!'' he snorted, ''soon you'll be telling you've enchanted me!''

The warlocks heart sunk to his shoes, because he'd been serious – but wasn't taken seriously. He got himself together, put up a face to hide his true feelings and let a little, forced smile show. It's okay, Arthur, he thought, if you can't deal with this right now. Sometime, I'll try to tell you again and you'll understand. Sometime.

''Have a seat,'' Merlin said, changing the subject. He shoved a chair back for Arthur, were Arthur gladly slipped in, after stroking Merlins cheeks and mouth with his left thumb and saying how grateful he was for this. Every time he thought this day couldn't have been better, something happened that broke that thought. Butterflies flew through his stomach when he saw the red rose next to his plate. Merlin, now sitting towards him, gave him a look with twinkling eyes, that said 'yes-I-remember'.

Next to the rose, Arthur found a small piece of paper (coming from his desk) with a few words. The black ink said: _I think I should adjust the 'I like you' – because, truth is – I think I love you._

With his face warming up, Arthur watched Merlin from under his eyelashes. He actually started a sentence a few times, but kept stuttering and stumbling over the right words. Merlin knew he was trying to say something positive though, because he felt Arthurs foot moving softly against his legs under the dining table. When they finally met eyes, an 'I love you' was mouthed by Arthur. The words weren't spoken out loud, but hung in the air and formed a bubble around the two. A bubble of happiness and love, that no one could pierce. They were living in their own, small world – and it was a magnificent one.

Merlin took a bottle of red wine from the table and filled their goblets. Then, he held up his own goblet and said: ''I'd like to make a toast,'' with his blue eyes sparkling in the candlelight. ''To us,'' he continued in a firm voice.

''To us,'' Arthur repeated, clinging his goblet to Merlins, ''my heart's desire.''


	9. Chapter 9 A broken promise

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 9**

His fingertips brushed over the upper edge of his goblet. Merlin had taken off quite early, leaving Arthur on his own in the glowing room with a half full bottle of wine. He told himself it was not done to get drunk – there were only two more days left to organise the New Years Ball if you started counting from tomorrow on. Nevertheless, the bottle stood there, being so tempting, that Arthurs hand uncontrollably reached for it. He didn't bother to pour the wine into his goblet, he just took a large gulp and swallowed it all at once. He sighed delighted when he felt the burning in his throat. With the bottle in his hand, he pushed his chair back and started blowing out candles at random while drinking and humming, which was his way to express how happy he felt. However, the humming stopped when he held the bottle above his face but no more drops would fall on his tongue.

''Mmph,'' he muttered as he let the empty bottle fall on the floor. He marched through the pieces of glass to the other side of his room, where he closed his hands around the last burning candle in the room. Holding the light before him, he made his way to the palace's kitchens. Meanwhile, he tripped over his feet a few times and almost assaulted a guard.

''Scuse me,'' he said, ''I need to – never mind.'' And he walked off again, leaving the guard in doubt whether to call someone or not. Arthur didn't seem to notice, for he had his mind set on something else. He entered the kitchens, and drank and drank. _Plop_, it sounded as he opened the four bottle in a row – he was about to knock it back in just a few seconds, when he abruptly stopped.

_Why are you being so selfish_, Arthur, he thought, _why so selfish?_ He got a firm hold on the table and tried to instruct his lame legs to move forward – every step was one step closer to his destination.

He literally dragged himself forward with blurred view and all. It was a mystery how he reached the right chambers – but somehow he'd managed to arrive there without any wounds or bruises. The door was locked, though. _Not very friendly_, Arthur thought, so he moved onto a different strategy. He slammed the door with his right side, but he didn't have much energy in his body. The loud sounds it made were clearly hearable, because when he ran for another hit, the door was being opened. Arthur had to regain his balance (the small amount of balance he still had while being drunk), but he managed not to fall over.

It was Merlin in his pyjamas he was now looking at, hand in his messy black hair. ''What are you doing here, you clotpole?'' he murmured sleepily, eyes half-open, ''why are you trying to damage my door and why are you wa–''

He was interrupted by Arthur, who had put his finger on Merlin's mouth. ''Sssh,'' he mumbled with a swollen tongue. ''I'm here for you.''

Merlin frowned his eyebrows and after rubbing his lazy eyes he finally saw what was wrong with Arthur – he was wasted to the bone. He sighed: ''Can I never leave you alone?'' It was more meant for himself than for Arthur, who'd pushed himself past Merlin, getting into the room.

''Where d'you sleep?'' he demanded, while inspecting Gaius' potions before he clang them back onto the table, way too hard. ''Oops,'' he said, when one broke. Merlin jumped up by hearing the sound. ''You imbecile,'' he hissed, ''I've been working on that for hours – not that it matters now... You'll wake Gaius with all this noise you're making!''

''Merlin, I'm sorry. Do you want some _boooooze_?'' Arthur held out the bottle with a hopeful expression on his face. Merlin didn't take it too well. ''NO!'' he exclaimed disgusted, ''I'll get you some water, OK?'' He set Arthur on a stool and told him to stay there. But, knowing Arthur (drunk or not), he wouldn't listen at all, so when Merlin turned towards the stool with a glass of water, no one was there. ''Bloody–'' he cursed. He was tired and needed his rest. Babysitting Arthur wasn't on his to do list this night. Why had Arthur thought it was necessary to drunken himself, was a question that haunted Merlin. He hoped he wasn't the reason – and that was confirmed when he found out Arthur stood behind him. ''Arthur, drink this,'' Merlin commanded, but Arthur had another idea, and suddenly Merlin's face was cupped in Arthur's hands.

''Oh please,'' Merlin began, because he wasn't in the mood for this. Nevertheless, it couldn't be denied Arthur was attractive, drunk or sober. He let Arthur come closer, wasn't able to resist him – and then Arthur started to snog him. Merlin felt his warm, paralysed tongue slit in his mouth and he went with it gladly – kissing Arthur was never going to get tiring. Arthurs hands moved restlessly to Merlin's waist and butt. Merlin knew it was too good to be true and that he shouldn't go on with it, because Arthur was as drunk as a skunk. The moment he thought that, Arthur pulled him as close as he could and started to move his hands under Merlin's sleeping clothes. His tongue spun in Merlin's mouth like crazy and almost made Merlin choke. _Stop_, Merlin thought, _stop!_ This was going way too far. He wasn't going to give himself to a drunk man for Christ's sake! He gathered all his willpower and pushed Arthur away as hard as he could. The sight of Arthur shrugging after his explanation for pushing him away hurt him more than ever – even when it was influenced by a hundred bottles of wine.

''Why are you being like this?'' Merlin cried out.

Arthur grabbed the bottle and took another huge gulp. ''Pff, hard question... I can't think straight. I just –'' Merlin would never know what the end of that sentence was, because Arthur's strength failed and he landed on the hard ground before Merlin's feet.

_Oh,_ _no_, Merlin thought, rushing to Arthurs unconscious body. He shook him wildly, trying to get a response, but his efforts and shouts were in vain.

* * *

''We must do something – what can we do, Gaius? How can I... what's happe–''

''Merlin!'' was shouted and so made Gaius Merlin a bit less rushed and panicked. Gaius was a wise man after all, and would know what could be done to help the incredibly drunk and unconscious prince on his floor. ''There's nothing we can do, I'm afraid,'' said Gaius though, ''except for laying him in his own bed and keeping his forehead cool.''

As on command, they both got a grip on either Arthur's arms or legs, and dragged him to his chambers. When they had laid him on his comfortable mattress, Merlin saw the sweat glittering on Gaius' forehead. He felt sorry for including the old man in this mess – part of Merlin still blamed himself for Arthur's actions. It went from 'if I hadn't brought that wine with me, then,' to 'if I hadn't kissed him, then,' and 'if I had never met him, then...' He was overreacting and he knew it, but the sight of Arthur's pale face, breast moving slowly up and down, was something he couldn't stand.

''Gaius,'' he said, ''let me handle this, you told me what to do. I'll manage.''

Gaius shook his head. ''No, my boy. You need your rest – Alena is coming tomorrow. She has been travelling for days. I cannot let her look upon you when you look like a ghost.''

Merlin sighed. Gaius had a point – the timing wasn't brilliant, but ''Gaius, you need your rest more than I do. This situation has nothing to do with you, so please get some sleep.''

Gaius wanted to protest but understood Merlin's mind couldn't be changed. ''Fine,'' he murmured, ''look after yourself and... and the wreck that lays right there.'' He wrinkled his nose, clearly unhappy with the situation, and let the two of them (one conscious, the other the opposite) alone.

Merlin started with watering a washcloth to dip it gently on Arthur's head afterwards. He sat besides the prince's bed and kept whispering to him, in the hope he'd wake up.

''Arthur,'' he muttered, ''How are you feeling? Could you wake up? Please?'' No answer to his wishes, nothing came out of Arthur's mouth. ''You know, Arthur,'' Merlin went further, ''when I first met you I thought you were a prat. A royal prat, let's be fair. By my mistake of saving you from dying, I've been made your servant. I hated you.'' He laughed, as if experiencing it all for the first time again. ''I used to hate you, remember? And the feeling was mutual, if I'm right. But already then, against my will, I secretly enjoyed your teasing. And then I came to respect you, your view on things, your principles and I thought you weren't so bad after all. I didn't show it, but seeing you date Vivian, Sophia and all those other women... it made me immensely jealous. Of course I had to be the one to carry the picnic basket again...'' He sighed, unsure to carry on with the pointless monologue since no one listened, but he did it anyway. ''Some other thing I didn't tell you is that I've been dreaming. About us. What we would be like, you and me, how things could turn out. Then today happened and you made me the happiest person in the entire world – but you've really done it this time... I mean... look at you.'' Merlin stroked Arthur's cheekbones and felt his temperature. He clicked his tongue in disapprovement. ''You're such an idiot,'' he said softly. ''You've got some explaining to do, OK? Tell me when you wake up – just wake up.''

A sort of gargle sound escaped from Arthur's throat, and Merlin sat straight up with picked-up ears. ''Mis..take?'' was the word Merlin managed to make out of the sound. He blinked, ''mistake?'' and then remembered he'd mentioned that in his monologue. He didn't know whether he was happy or not Arthur had picked up some things. ''Mistake,'' Merlin repeated thoughtfully, ''no, no! Saving you is a decision I've made with no regrets. You should know I'd do it again without hesitating... whenever.'' He squeezed one of Arthur's sweaty hands, but not too hard. ''I would never allow anyone to hurt you.''

Arthur's lips curled up a tiny bit, then fell back in a thin, straight line. It looked like he didn't have the strength to move. He was weak and tired, and when that thought crossed Merlin's mind, he found himself yawning and needing for sleep. He allowed himself to settle his head on one of Arthur's soft pillows (one he took from the bed that was full of them), and he closed his eyes for what he made himself promise, a _few_ seconds.

Merlin was waked by the peeking rays of sunlight through Arthur's windows. The sun was starting and Merlin slowly lifted his eyelids to watch where he was. His back hurt from sitting, his cheek was paralysed from leaning against the window and he felt some drool on his chin... and then he inhaled the disgusting smell that filled the room. _O god_, he thought, feeling his stomach turning, _is that..._? His eyes flew wide open and there lay Arthur, breathing in his own vomit. Merlin held his hand for his mouth, to keep himself from throwing up because of the sight and smell, and paced up and down the room, hyperventilating about what to do next.

Clean it, that was for sure. Clean Arthur, clean the sheets, the pillows – everything. Merlin cursed himself for being so stupid to fall asleep. The vomit indicated Arthur had been awake at some point, somehow, and he, Merlin, could've avoided this if he hadn't fallen asleep. He really was the worst servant Camelot had ever known. Still panicking, he told himself to calm down and be rational. He started to run to get water and gather new washcloths, when he remembered who he actually was. Nothing servant, warlock was the term: he could clean a thousand shields in seconds, so why should this be such a problem?

Behind him, he heard a cough. ''Ugh,'' it sounded, ''uuh.'' Merlin stopped fumbling his hands and rushed towards Arthur to comfort him.

''I feel sick,'' Arthur groaned, as Merlin stroked a piece of sticky hair from his face.

''Arthur, I need you to listen,'' Merlin insisted, his eyebrows frowned in a serious line. What he was going to do was stupid and reckless and reckless and stupid, but he was going to do it anyway.

Arthur, unable to move in a sitting position because his body felt like lead, lifted his hand to his mouth. He tasted something like... yuck. ''Is this vomit?'' he asked weakly.

''Uhm, yes,'' Merlin told him. ''But within two seconds it will be gone...''

''How?'' was bounced back.

''...if you promise me to close your eyes and not to panic, whatever happens. Are you listening to me?''

Arthur blinked. ''I am. But what are you saying?''

''I say I need you to make this promise. I beg you, Arthur, not to panic.''

Arthur's bottom lip trembled and he looked at Merlin in confusion. ''What can possibly...'' and he gave up. ''I promise.'' His face grew gloomy as if he remembered the terrible smell that hung in the room, but he was too tired to be deeply embarrassed Merlin had had to witness this side of him. He closed his eyes, and put his hands over his eyes to protect himself from the bright sunlight. He heard Merlin take a deep breath. He heard a combination of strange words from a language he didn't recognise and therefore couldn't help but watching between his fingers. He saw a pair of eyes that always had been registered as heavenly blue by him, suddenly lit up bright orange. He winced, but kept watching intensely as his servant managed to clean all the blankets and pillows without using water or a towel. Merlin sighed, guessing the part that would follow despite the promise, and allowed himself to sit on Arthur's bed: That person slowly let his hand fall next to his side and stared blankly to the ceiling. ''You have magic.''

''...yes.''

''You have magic.'' Arthur kept mumbling on, processing what he'd just seen. He didn't give Merlin a single glance – let alone a face expression. A frown, a scream, a cry, anything would be better than this. A desperate Merlin covered his face in his hands. ''I could've – I wanted to...'' It ended in a little sob, which wasn't meant to be heard by Arthurs ears either. He had no idea how to handle the situation – he'd always planned Arthur would find out during a battle when they were on the losing side – or in a quiet room with just the two of them, like yesterday evening – not by cleaning his vomit after a hangover, _dammit_.

''Can you get me some water?'' Arthur said after a moment. ''I feel a bit nauseous.''

''Yes, sire,'' Merlin reacted stiffly, hurrying away from the bed to grant the prince's wish, only to be called back by a flat voice. ''Can't you use a spell to summon it perhaps?''

It was like a knife in the back and Merlin froze abruptly. Arthur was still staring at the ceiling like a dead man. When Merlin turned on his feet and watched Arthur's motionless body, he wasn't even sure Arthur had blinked since his eyes changed colour. One thing he was absolutely certain about was that Arthur didn't take this lightly. He slowly got to Arthurs bed again and turned the washcloth, that had gotten warm by Arthur's headache. The glass of water was forgotten – Merlin understood it hadn't been a real question. Instead, he said promptly, ''you still haven't recovered fully. You need some rest.''

Arthur kept staring, not opening his mouth, and Merlin felt his heavy heart pounding loudly in his chest. ''Please, Arthur,'' he whispered after a while, ''say something, anything...'' He bit his bottom lip. ''This is killing me. Are you angry with me?''

When Arthur finally began to talk, his cold voice echoed between the walls, asking a rhetorical question. ''How can I get some rest when I've just discovered my servant has hidden his magic from me all these years? I've trusted you but apparently you've never trusted me enough to tell me who you truly are. I'm not angry Merlin, I'm sad.'' For the first time in what seemed like ages, he turned his head, adding: ''And in a way I can't help but feeling disappointed in you.'' His blue eyes watched Merlin's carefully as he spoke in a bitter tone.

Merlin tried to think of an answer, tried to think of words that could deny the fact he'd deliberately kept this from Arthur his whole life, but was interrupted before speaking.

''I need time to think,'' Arthur said, still looking at Merlin, now with a little frown in the forehead. ''I thought I loved every side of yours, but I cannot look upon you right now. I just don't want to see you until I have full control of my mind again – I cannot think straight. I...'' His eyes glittered – tears?

''I can ex–'' Merlin started, but he was stopped by Arthur, whose face expression turned to frustration. ''Get out, Merlin, before I lose it.'' His low voice, barely a whisper, quivered with anger and desperation.

Merlin bit his lip harder and felt blood flow in his mouth. ''Arthur...'' he begged, but it was all useless, because then Arthur's voice cried out over his huge chambers. ''OUT!''


	10. Chapter 10 Endless teardrops

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 10**

Merlin rushed out of the castle, hand covering his mouth to muffle the choking sounds he made due to the tears that streamed down his face. He cursed himself for being so weak, fleeing to a place no one would find him – but he did it anyway. When he ended up somewhere in the stables, in a small corner, he fell on his knees.

A small voice kept repeating '_What did you expect? What did you?_' and then he'd respond with an '_I don't know! I do not know!_' He curled himself up like a little ball, wrapping his arms over his knees, which he put under his chin. He let the waterfalls stream over his face, sure sometime he would run out of the tears, right? But it felt like the amount of buckets he could fill with them would be infinite.

Merlin tried to stay positive – Arthur had not disapproved, nor had he said Merlin was to leave Camelot or burnt at the spot for having magic. It was going to be alright was something he didn't dare to think, but the feeling was definitely there – in a _tini_-tiny part of his heart. He brought a hand to his mouth, and that was when he remembered the strange taste in it, weren't the salty tears, but was the blood from biting his lips. He sniffed, shrugged for no reason. _Will I be missed by Gaius?_ he thought, _will he be searching for me?_ Only then it began to dawn on him Alena would arrive today. Lovely Alena, who he had missed so – and he couldn't face her like this.

* * *

Arthur placed his hands in his hair, pulling so hard at his hair roots that he moaned in pain. His head was spinning at the move, making him so dizzy he had to tell himself to lay down. Or had it been the headache from being drunk? He didn't know – but he knew the lips that had kissed him so tenderly only yesterday, had admitted they were able to cast spells effortlessly.

Arthur looked dizzily around his room and let his eyes fall upon Morgana's Christmas gift, the lucky hoof. ''Lucky,'' he snorted, letting a sarcastic laugh roll from his throat. With an empty head his hands automatically found the way to the grip of his sword and he started to hit Morgana's stupid present until it lay broken in four pieces on the floor. That was it with his anger. But it hadn't stop the thoughts that were haunting him in his head.

_Merlin never cared enough about you to tell you. _

_When has Merlin used his magic and what for?_

_The unexplainable things that have happened to you in certain situations, from which you always thought it was coincidence – have they been Merlin's doing all along? If so, how many times has your life been saved by him? Are you useless? Can't you win a fight without someone saving your ass when you're not looking? Yes. Not looking. Because, why HAVE YOU NEVER NOTICED A GODDAMN THING?_

This idiot he used to make Merlin out for, had that been a mask? Of course he knew Merlin wasn't a bloody idiot deep down inside, but a sorcerer? Zero, nada, null idea.

When Arthur let himself fall on his bed, he buried his face in his pillow (_Who else knows about Merlin's magic? Are you the only one?_) and shoved his arms under it. His fingers felt a soft material tangling in them and for a brief moment he wondered what it was when all of a sudden a big lump appeared in his throat. Slowly, almost unwillingly by all the emotions it freed, he removed his hands from the pillow and recognised the green ribbon he was holding.

_Merlin_, he thought, seeing a face with beautiful cheekbones, blue yes, bright smile and messy hair before him, _o Merlin – I love you so – so much_.

Immediately, he had problems breathing. He had to leave this place before it drove him insane. Quickly he dressed himself, wrote a small note to Morgana why she shouldn't worry and that he'd come back to help organising this dumb new year's ball. He didn't take the time to eat breakfast – he did take his time to put the soft green ribbon in one of his pockets, before making his way to the stables.

Beauluty curiously turned her head as her owner stepped into the stables. She pushed her nose in his jacket when he was near enough to touch. Arthur smiled. In battle he was used to riding a stallion, but for small trips this lovely, brown mare took him wherever he wanted to be. He'd grown quite attached to the horse. He moved through the stable to find a saddle, an appel to feed the horse (he couldn't help himself from taking a bite as well), and then his ears noticed a heartbreaking sound. Arthur managed to keep a neutral face expression, pretending he didn't hear a thin, black haired boy, who he'd called 'lover' last night, sobbing in his sleeping wear.

But if hearts could break – literally – Arthur's would be scattered over the hay in a thousand pieces. His hands started to shake and he forced himself to keep a firm hold on the apple, to not let it drop. The low cries continued, but with all his willpower Arthur chose to ignore it, and he rode off on Beauluty. Between his fingers, a small twenty minutes later, he was touching a white berry that wasn't exactly grown attached to the oak tree, but secured with a red ribbon. Bought on a market in Camelot.

''Do you think you'll get lucky today, my lord?'' the woman behind the shelf had asked, and he had given her a secret smile (''who knows, who knows?'') before he'd walked away.

_How fast time went_, Arthur thought.

* * *

Merlin's eyes were abruptly opened by Gaius' voice that was calling out his name in both relief and anger. ''Where have you been, Merlin? What are you doing here?''

Merlin looked at him, puzzled for a moment, then stuttered: ''Wha– what happened?'' His fingers touched the itchy hay, and the puzzle was solved. How could he have been so stupid to fall – cry himself asleep? The last image on his mind was Arthur, with the thought: Please don't let him see me like this. _Please_. He'd been wanting to hide further into the stables, but his muscles felt like pudding and so he'd simply begged for Arthur not to see him. After that he'd truly meant to make his way back to the castle, but he'd felt so paralysed, so exhausted, that things had gone in a different direction. Now Gaius was watching him with a you–look–horrible–expression on his face that made Merlin never wanting to look in the mirror once more. How bad would it be?

Gaius seemed to have read his thoughts, because he said: ''We'll walk to the palace, and _you'll_ tell _me_ what happened. Then you'll clean yourself up as fast as lightning, because there's no way you can face Alena like this. Poor girl's been travelling for days and this is how you repay her? I wish I knew what was going on in your brains, Merlin.''

Merlin sighed. Oh, you don't want to know, he thought. Although, he was doubting whether to tell Gaius or not.

When Merlin dared to look in the mirror, his face was smeared with blood, dirt and tears. In his hair lay some hay and he smelled like all the previous named things, but then mixed. Disgusting.

Gaius had given him a bucket with water, but above all a word of advice. And it was this advice, that had released a hopeful spark in Merlin's eyes – that had made him believe again, even if it was just a little bit.

He splashed some water in his face and filled his lungs with fresh air. Two more days until the new year's ball, Gaius had reminded him. How long Arthur needed to think and sort his feelings out he didn't know, but at this ball Arthur and he ought to be in the same room, breath the same air and dance the same dances – it was _the_ moment to be able to face Arthur again.

The fact Merlin had to give him time Merlin understood. But he couldn't give him all the time in the world. There had to follow a confrontation, fight, solution and no matter which on it would be, everything would be better than being ignored for all eternity. And that was why Merlin set his hopes high for the new year's ball.


	11. Chapter 11 Explaining to do

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 11**

''Merlin? Merlin?'' A voice sweet like honey called out his name. Merlin quickly wrapped a blue scarf around his neck, fixed his hair and got out of his small bedroom. ''Alena!'' he cried out and he threw himself in her arms, not caring how childish it might look. He hadn't realised how much he'd missed her until he buried his head in her hair, inhaled her familiar scent. She always smelled like jasmine. He took a step back to look into her blue eyes and asked some standard, polite questions like ''how was your journey?'' Then she answered almost all the snow had melted during a few days so it had gotten easier to travel in the end.

''I'm glad,'' Merlin said.

When Alena heard that she protested loudly: ''I love the snow! Remember when we used to make those snowmen in Ealdor? God, I miss those days.'' Merlin was taken back to old days – two small children, both black haired with light eyes, playing in the fresh snow. When their lips turned blue, Hunith and her sister would call them back inside and give them hot drinks. Life had been easy then, uncomplicated. No destiny or grumpy prince to keep him from his night's sleep.

''Yeah,'' Merlin admitted after a while. ''I would give everything to do that again.''

She showed him a huge grin, and took him by the arm. ''Come on then,'' she said impulsively, ''I've seen some snow outside the castle walls. Not yet melted, you see.'' Her eyes glittered like a five years old. ''You think what I think? Snowball fight!''

''I don't know,'' Merlin began doubtful, ''don't you have to eat? Unpack some stuff?''

''Oh, shut it, Merlin, I know you want to.'' She gave his arm another tug, and this time he gave in. He threw Gaius, who was watching the conversation with an amusing look on his face, an apologizing glance before being dragged out of the chambers.

Eventually, it had to be Merlin to point out the way, for Alena had never been in Camelot before. Meanwhile, she heard him out about everything and nothing. Of course, one subject was inevitable: the blonde crown prince. ''How is it?'' she questioned him, ''how is it to be his servant, polish his armour?''

He shrugged. ''It's OK. He can be a gigantic prat at times, but he has a good heart.''

She chuckled, before asking: ''Does he know about your magic?'' and she watched him carefully. Merlin didn't want to open up about this _again_, so simply answered: ''No. Soon, maybe. I'm not certain yet.''

He saw Alena's eyebrows raise at the sound of his harsh voice, and he decided to change the subject. ''How's your mother?''

''She's staying with aunt Hunith, from whom, you, by the way, missed her fantastic cooking abilities at Christmas time, because you went to Camelot earlier than planned.''

''I'm sorry,'' Merlin apologised.

''But may I ask what that was about?'' she said.

''Arthur... uh... he needed my help.'' Merlin's stomach was tied in a knot – he hated lying to her, but he simply couldn't–

''With what? There are many people who could serve him just for those few days.''

''Well, you know...'' Merlin felt his cheeks redden, unable to say a word more. Alena had seen his red face and wasn't letting this go very easily. ''Merlin, seriously, what happened!'' It wasn't asking, it was demanding, and Merlin found himself fasten his pace, taking the last steps out of the town. He bowed to the snow and his hands formed a flawless round snowball – something he'd done so many times when he was young – which he threw at the small girl behind him. ''You are the worst!'' he said out of breath.

She ducked and avoided the snowball. ''I wasn't saying or assuming anything! Bút,'' she said and she made her own snowball out of the brown white sludge that was left, ''if you are so defensive...'' and she pointed it at him. They continued attacking each other, running around and chasing each other like in old days. Merlin fired some balls with his magic, but when Alena had noticed that she'd pushed him down (''Cheater!'') and made him eat snow. He got hold of her arms when he'd turned on his back, and managed to get her on her back on the ground. ''There,'' he said, ''who's the strongest?''

''You!'' she cried out, ''you!'' Then she looked past him. ''Who's that?'' she asked and Merlin looked behind him, followed her gaze. His eyes met a frozen Morgana and he wanted to say ''this is not what you think'', but she'd seen enough and made her way back to the castle with big steps.

''Shit,'' Merlin muttered, getting off Alena.

''Who's that?'' she asked, curious why it seemed like a big deal to him.

''She's the king's ward, Morgana.''

''Why should you care?'' she asked. ''Are you two...?''

Merlin threw her a look. ''No! No, why would you think that?''

''She's not too bad on the eyes. And she's got pretty hair, you can't deny that, Merlin.'' She ruffled his hair but he backed away, taking a deep breath. ''I care because she'll not shut her mouth about this to someone I don't want to get hurt.'' To get hurt even more, he added in his mind.

''Okay, uhm, stop stalking in confusing language,'' she said. ''Basically, there's someone?''

''I guess you could say that.'' Merlin looked at the melted snow under his fingers.

''A girl? A guy?'' Alena was the only one to know about Merlins bisexuality (apart from his mother Hunith), since she'd discovered he'd been crying in his room when little Will had refused to hold his hand a small fifteen years ago. He still struggled a bit to say 'a guy'. But he did it – and then it was easy for Alena to solve the riddle.

''If Morgana is the King's ward, and she would tell, who would be interested?'' Alena thought out loud, and her eyes spread in disbelief. ''The blonde one? Merlin are you saying... you and prince Arthur are an item?''

Merlin nodded and nodded and nodded and nodded but shook his head at 'the item' comment.

''No item?''

''No item.''

''But Merlin, how did you–'' she started, and Merlin told her the whole story from the very beginning. Somehow he still held the events of last evening and that morning behind. He knew he could trust her, but he wasn't in the mood. The subject was too painful and made him feel vulnerable, something he didn't long for to feel, not when he'd just put himself together.

''Wow, it sounds just like a fairytale.'' Alena let out a deep breath, after strenuously listening to every word of every sentence. ''But better.''

Merlin smirked, standing up and offering her a hand. ''Let's go inside, shall we?''

''Aye,'' she agreed, taking his hand to pull herself onto her feet. ''But what about this Morgana?''

''I'll... just let me take care of it.''

She gave him a loving kiss on the cheek. ''Sorry Mer.''

''Not your fault,'' he told her with an reassuring smile.

* * *

Merlin saw the satin purple dress walking out of a room and paced towards her. ''Wait a second, Morgana,'' he called out. Her head turned and her eyes were frowned. She gave him a faint smile. ''Can't. I've got my duties.'' She walked further, her braid swinging up and down on her shoulder. Merlin didn't leave it by this and ran until he was walking next to her. ''Look, let me explain,'' he begged her, and when he'd gotten her attention, she slowed down abruptly and Merlin followed.

''I'm not going to say anything,'' she said firmly. That would have surprised Merlin if it wasn't this serious. She went further: ''But I swear, if you hurt Arthur, you'll be punished. And not just a little bit.''

Part of Merlin was able to breath again. The way she'd spoken to him, it had become clear to him she didn't know Arthur was already hurt. But she also hadn't understood. ''Morgana,'' he said when she continued with a rant about that 'she'd seen it in this black haired girl's eyes that she had wanted to kiss him' and a lot more nonsense, ''she – Alena – is my _cousin_.''

''And I won't accept the fact that you're – _what_?!'' Morgana blinked heavily and put her hand before her mouth. ''Your what?'' it sounded.

''My cousin,'' Merlin repeated loud and clear. He looked at her tomato-red face, shame burnt through the pale skin. ''O sweet lord,'' Morgana muttered, ''I feel so embarrassed right now.''

''No, don't be,'' Merlin tried to comfort her, ''it's a common mistake.''

''But I've said the ugliest things to you–''

''Those were right, if it were not my family you saw me with.''

''Just a snowball fight then?'' Morgana reached out to touch an ice crystal on Merlin's jacket.

''Yes,'' the last named person smiled crookedly.

The king's ward let out a little laughter, then turned serious again. ''I'm pro Arthur and you, you must know. However, if you do hurt him you know now what will happen.''

''Trust me, I wouldn't hurt him a fly.'' It sounded unconvincing in his own ears, but Morgana accepted it with a graceful smile. ''Good,'' she said. ''I'm looking forward to seeing you at the ball.''

''Me too. I mean – to see you then there, not me...'' He could slap himself for his hideous answer. Why so nervous all at once?

Morgana rubbed her temple, eyes wrinkled by laughter. ''Sure, Merlin. We all know your mind is set on someone else.'' She winked and added: ''Wear something nice.''

''I will,'' he answered, and with a quick nod Morgana excused herself and vanished from the corridor.


	12. Chapter 12 Bloody wizards

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 12**

The doors stood wide open, inviting everyone to come in. A nervous but excited cousin at Merlin's side clang to his arm. ''I don't know anyone,'' she whispered. It was New Year's Eve. The last two days had gone by in a haze. With not a single word from Arthur, Alena had been the ultimate distraction. She'd made things easier, but he couldn't escape tonight.

Merlin let his eyes fall upon Alena. She was wearing a soft rose dress with translucent strokes of fabric, that gave the impression she was floating in the air. She looked so vulnerable with her light blue eyes and curled black hair that fell beside her small face. Merlin suddenly felt the urge to comfort her, and so he did. ''Don't worry,'' he said, ''you won't be alone. I'm here, always, and there are people I want to introduce you to. Gwen – Guinevere – for instance is really lovely. And you'll meet some nice men while doing the dances. The knights will be here and–'' During his rant, Alena's attention was drawn to something else. They'd entered the gigantic hall that crowed with people. Alena's eyes were almost bulging out by the sight of it. Flags, candles, flowers and all sorts of decoration were breathtaking. Servants were walking around with drinks and titbits. Merlin was happy Morgana had given him off for this evening. ''You enjoy this ball with your cousin,'' she had said. ''Arthur won't mind.'' Merlin smiled when he caught her eye. She was seated at the table with the king and an absent prince. The 'absent' part was enough for Merlin to feel miserable, to sit in a corner and start crying, but Christ, this ball had barely begun. When did he became so whiney? He was really starting to turn into a girl.

_No hasty conclusions today_, he told himself firmly, and he kept on walking, dragging Alena away from a collection of impressive swords (''God, can you get me one Merlin? Please?'')

When every single guest was inside a good half an hour later, the king rose from his enormous chair and started his welcome speech. It was the same as last year – Merlin recognised it within two seconds – so he didn't pay attention to it. He focussed on the empty chair at the table, figeting his hands because he felt stressed out – what took Arthur so long? Normally he was seated there. Right there – wearing his shiny crown, lighting up the room with warm smiles, wipping his blonde locks and all that. Merlin sighed and by doing that got an elbow dugged in his side.

''Sssh,'' said Alena, ''I want to hear this. This might be the only time I see the King, and I want to remember him as a nice man.'' She looked at the speaking man in admiration. Merlin wanted to point out she should know better, for Uther was not one to be appreciated – he'd banned magic, he'd planted it into his son's mind magic was evil – and Merlin would never forgive him for that. All this couldn't be said, because Uther ended his speech and Alena decided it was time to dance. The musicians started playing a slow song and it was a clear sign for everyone this was the official opening dance. Everyone got in their positions. Merlin had never cared much for dancing, but people actually learned those at home – it was required. You needed to be able to dance them flawlessly if you wanted to be invited to this event. And so Merlin joined, quirking an eyebrow to Guinevere, who stood opposite him.

''I hate this dance.''

''This particular dance or all the dances?'' she smirked.

''All of them, they're ridiculous.''

''I agree... But romantic as well, don't you think?''

Merlin shook his head as they started dancing. ''Nope.''

* * *

Arthur inhaled through his nose, exhaled through his mouth. _Slowly._

He walked over to the mirror and adjusted his crown once more, before he tried to look in his own eyes as if he could see into his soul that way. _What is it that I want?_ it popped up in his mind and it didn't take a second for his subconscious mind to answer that question. _You want Merlin._

Arthur unwillingly took a step back – he'd been ignoring the thought these days, but he couldn't get around it: he loved Merlin. Before him, on his dressing-table, he'd placed the note Merlin had written that one night. He knew the words written in Merlin's quick, almost illegible handwriting by heart and mimed them again after picking up the piece of paper and touching the black ink of the 'I love you'.

Living without Merlin's curvy lips pressed on his seemed unbearable to him. He hated to make the impression of being a selfish brat, but...

With a quick, small nod and a encouraging ''You can do this, Arthur'' whispered to himself, he made his way to the seat that was always reserved for him and for him only.

As soon as he sat on his place, Morgana leaned towards him. ''At last! I thought you'd cancel this at the last moment.''

He said in her ear, over the music that was played by the orchestra: ''Of course I'd come. I helped organizing this bloody ball – what do you take me for?''

Morgana rolled her eyes. ''You can't fool me anymore, Arthur. It's now crystal clear to me something's up with you and Merlin.''

Arthur set up a mask to hide his vulnerability and answered coolly: ''I'm not going to talk about this here.''

''Alright, fine.'' She threw her hands in the air to make a statement and said: ''I just wanted to tell you that I don't like it one bit. He's always been good to us. Whatever may have happened, fix it – alright?''

Arthur opened his mouth to tell her she should stop being so pushy, but something else sprung in his eye and he lost the words. Somewhere in the middle of the room, he saw Merlin taking a sip from his goblet with his heavenly lips of perfection. When Merlin caught Arthur's eye, Arthur saw a little, reserved smile appear on the lips, but it could've easily been a straight line. Even so, he felt his body getting warmer and his head somewhat lighter, but he fell in an endless black hole when a girl approached Merlin – laughing absurdly loud – and kissed him by his ear.

''Wai – what?'' Arthur murmured in confusion. His eyes narrowed as he watched the girl. She was beautiful, her black curled hair falling loose beside her cheeks, her curved, small body covered in a pink dress. If angels existed, she'd surely be one. The fact that she was a stunning young woman turned Arthur's confusion into anger.

''I'll be right back,'' said he to Morgana, and he pushed himself out of the chair, eyes still locked on the 'situation' before him.

Morgana followed his gaze and started panicking when she saw Arthur was almost out of ear-shot, taking big steps to the middle of the room. ''Arthur, stop!'' she yelled and for one second she thought his tensed body turned around, but none of it was true. She put her hands around her mouth in a useless try to make herself sound loud and clear. ''_Thát_ is his cousin!'' she cried out. ''_She_ is his cousin!'' Her screams echoed in the air and made the candles flicker but were ignored nevertheless.

* * *

Alena ran out of breath from the dancing and walked back towards Merlin, who was having one of the many different red wines they had here. During her walk, she was held up by a handsome knight. ''I'm Gwain,'' he introduced himself. ''A beautiful lady like you ought to be accompanied by someone like me.'' He offered her his strong, muscled arm. ''Join me for the next dance?'' he asked, raising his brows seductively.

Alena chuckled. ''You're pretty sure about yourself, aren't you, Ga-wain?''

The knight, picking a cherry from the tray of the nearest servant and put it between his teeth before ripping the stem of it. ''Mmm, if you tell me your name, dazzling–''

''Alena.''

''Dazzling Alena – I'll be polite and ask you again.'' He swallowed the cherry and licked his lips.

Alena looked at the mouth and unshaven chin of Gwain and smiled. ''No, thank you – I'm going to leave you alone now–''

''And why is that?''

''I left Merlin alone and he's probably wondering–''

''Merlin?''

''And I promised to stay with him but I think I've enjoyed the dances a bit too much–''

''Merlin?!''

That tone Alena knew, for she had heard it a lot in her life. ''Cousins,'' she said, ''don't you worry Ga-wain.''

''Oh...OK... and you pronounce my name as Gwain by the way, not Ga-wain.''

''If you say so, Ga-wain.'' Alena grinned a little, before winking and walking straight past him.

Gwain found out that night that he had a weak spot for women who resisted him. The days that would follow he'd desperately try to get Alena's attention and eventually she'd give in. A year later she was pregnant from him, and the daughter would be called Eve, after New Year's Eve, the day they met. If you'd have told Alena all that after her meeting with Gwain, she'd have died from laughter. She was actually laughing that laud when she met up with Merlin again, that person needed all his willpower not to cover his ears with his hands.

''Did you see that?'' she asked, but didn't wait for the answer. ''Is that a knight?'' She leaned in and pressed her lips near Merlin's ear. ''Hey, dazzling Alena, up for a dance?''

Merlin shook his head. ''Typically Gwain. I'll give you the key of my door – knowing him, he won't give up so easily.'' Merlin knew Gwain better than Gwain himself to be sure of this.

Then a cold voice called out at Merlin. ''I didn't know yóú do give up so easily...'' Merlin was nailed to the ground as Arthur approached him.

Alena was still smiling, even more excited now she'd seen the prince. She missed the anger that had taken over Arthur's body, thought everything was alright and started chattering. ''Are you prince Arthur?'' she spoke the most oblivious words with a trembling voice, that was how happy she was to meet the man Merlin wasn't 'an item' with.

''Yes,'' was the reply. Alena wasn't given a single glance, but she didn't see or care about the angry face Arthur pulled at Merlin.

''I've heard a lot about–'' she started, but she was rudely cut off by the king's son. ''Be quiet,'' it sounded, ''I'm not here for you. I need my servant.''

The annoyed tone in his voice finally came through in Alena's ears. ''Merlin isn't on duty tonight,'' she pointed out. Her body language gave out all the signs that were written down as offended in the books.

Arthur sneered at her: ''I'm sorry, I'm the prince of Camelot. The crown prince to be exact. You'll not stand in my way unless you want trouble.''

''Try me,'' Alena dared him and that was the first time Arthur looked at her, with pointing finger and all, ready to attack.

''Please stop, Arthur,'' Merlin found his words back and stared at the ridiculous converstation that was going on between the two. ''Why are you acting like this?''

''Why are yóú acting like this?'' it was bounced back.

''Like what?'' Merlin had no idea what he was talking about.

Arthur opened his mouth, hissed his thoughts, and by that spoke the worst words Merlin had ever been called: ''Like an evil, whorish, bloody sorcerer.''

Merlin gasped for air and immediately felt tears stinging behind his eyes. ''I'll... I'll never...''

Alena watched in anger and shock how Merlin made his way through the crowd. So Arthur _did _know about Merlin's magic... and Merlin had decided not to tell her. But none of that mattered back then, because this prince had insulted her dearest cousin with the ugliest words she'd ever heard. Her blood boiled and before she knew it, her arm swung in the air and struck the prince right across the face. '_'Filthy son of a bitch_! How dare you call my cousin names like that?!'' She gave him a hard push and Arthur staggered and had the hardest time regaining his balance. ''C-cousin?'' he spluttered.

''Yes! Can't you bloody see?!'' she screamed out in frustration.

Arthur watched the angry woman again and recognised the colour of her eyes and hair as similar to Merlin's. She even had the same cheeks and eyebrows. He felt ashamed of himself, and even that wouldn't cover his embarrassment. He shut his eyes, unable to function normally. He didn't know what to say, how to apologise and was, luckily, saved by Morgana. She came running through the crowd of people and whispered out of breath: ''There has been a terrible misunderstanding here.''

''Terrible indeed,'' said Alena bitter, before she turned and ran, following the little figure that was Merlin.


	13. Chapter 13 A new year

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 13**

With a flash of his golden eyes, the door was locked. He didn't have the strength to walk to his bed, so he let himself lean against the nearest wall and tried to control his heavy breaths. Arthur did not just say that to you, he thought to himself, but his mind wasn't fooled that easily. The 'whorish' and 'evil' parts didn't bother him the most – only the way Arthur had said 'bloody sorcerer' as if it were an insult.

Merlin was proud of who he was. In earlier days, as a child, he'd sometimes caught himself wishing he was normal. Then Hunith would tell him how special he really was, give him a cookie and suggest he'd go outside and play with Will. Little Merlin would call her 'the best mum' after that, give her a kiss and run away with lifted spirits.

That was almost twenty years ago. His mother was in Ealdor, and he'd locked himself up, only to feel even more miserable.

A low sound. ''Merlin?'' whispered the honeyed voice of Alena behind the door. ''Do you want to talk?''

''...''

''I'm sorry about what Arthur said.''

''It's him who should apologise, not you,'' Merlin said after a while, his voice choked.

''Why didn't you tell me the truth, Merlin? He knows you have magic, and...''

''It hurt to talk about it... Arthur didn't take it lightly.'' He sighed, and he could hear her filling in the gasps in her mind to form the real story of Arthur and Merlin. ''Can you please let me in?''

No matter how much Merlin would've liked her to comfort him, his body was frozen. ''I hope you'll understand when I say I need some time alone.'' He loved Alena, but she wasn't his mother, who'd put her warm, familiar arms around him so often. ''I'll tell you everything in the future, I promise.''

It was silent for a second. ''I do understand,'' she whispered. ''And thank you.''

''No, thank you,'' he wanted to say, but the words never came out of his mouth.

The sound of her heels clicking on the ground slowly faded away, but soon another pair of shoes came walking towards the door Merlin was hiding behind. Then they stopped and Merlin held his breath – this was Arthur, who had been the best and the worst thing for him last week – but there wasn't a word exchanged. Merlin wasn't going to speak – he wasn't going to make this easy for Arthur. He thought the moment would never come, but suddenly Arthur cleared his throat after the painful silence.

''I... it's me,'' he muttered.

''Who?'' Merlin played stupid. He just wanted to hear Arthur put some effort in it – he needed that apology as much as he needed air.

''Me as in the idiot, the prat, the clotpole, the bone-idle toad, the dollophead... but also shortly known as Arthur.'' His broken voice was like a whisper, and Merlin got the urge to open up the door and throw himself into Arthurs arms against all his principles... but he couldn't. He still felt the tears that had fallen down his face and above all, his pride was hurt. ''Ah, you,'' was how he answered at last.

''Yes,'' was the obvious reaction he got on that, whereupon Merlin said nothing. Silence.

''Merlin?''

''Mmm?''

''Could you please let this ogre of a prince inside?''

''If you've got anything to say, you can tell me this way,'' Merlin said in a cold voice. He walked to the door and let himself sit against it. On the other side of it, he heard Arthur doing the same.

''I don't know where to begin,'' Arthur said dumbly.

Merlin closed his eyes and heard himself say: ''Maybe you should start at the part where first you completely ignored my cousin, was plain rude to her, acted like a bloody idiot and then called me...''

''It was all so stupid, Merlin... more than stupid.''

''You know what someone said to me about a week ago?'' Arthur didn't answer, but Merlin knew he was listening and went on: ''that he was _afraid_ of drawing conclusions. Well, this one was drawn pretty fast wasn't it?''

Arthur covered his face in his hands. ''I... I know,'' he murmured, ''I just couldn't–''

''Couldn't what?'' Merlin cut him off sharply.

''Couldn't believe you'd move on so fast–''

''_She_ is my cousin, I'm not going to–''

''Just listen to me,'' Arthur begged then, ''_please_.''

Merlin remained silent and Arthur began to explain. ''For almost three days I've been thinking about you and everything you are. Just when I dealt with my homosexuality, this 'magic thing' came (Merlin hmmp'ed) and please don't get me wrong – but this week has been the greatest week in my life, but also the most disastrous. I'm new to this, you have to understand, Merlin. I'd never kissed a man before. Then you came.'' He took a deep breath. ''Then you came, and kissing you made me realise what I felt like I'd been missing my whole life. It made me complete. But Merlin, when you showed me your magic, my world crashed down. When it comes to love, I think nothing should stop you from being with that person. Because eventually we would tell, right?'' He took another breath-pause and continued: ''But you've lived here, and you probably know my father's ha... disapproval of magic better than anyone. I was scared, Merlin... but I was angry too. Thoughts circled in my head. Why you'd never trusted me enough to tell, for example. Now I understand. I... I also remember all the times you were telling me you saved my life and I laughed at you and told you off. It was an absurd idea, _you_ saving _me_, with your skinny body and clumsy left hands, but when your eyes... your eyes changed orange, I felt like some part of me always knew you were special and that only confirmed it. And I guess I owe you a thank you. For saving me.''

''A thousand,'' Merlin said dryly, but he was feeling slightly better that moment.

Arthur smiled a little, even though Merlin couldn't see, and placed his hands on the ground, through the opening under the door. ''I only have one question,'' he said. ''Why?''

''It's my destiny to protect you,'' Merlin said in a low voice.

''Wait? What? Your destiny?'' Arthur sounded confused.

''Destinies.. don't get me started on them. Basically I have to help you become the king you're meant to be, create a kingdom with you... that's my destiny. To protect you.'' Merlin patiently waited for it to sink in Arthur's mind.

Arthur's stomach had turned five times meanwhile. ''Because you _have_ to,'' he quoted absently and that made Merlin realise he had said it all wrong. ''No, no!'' he protested. ''I'm repeating what my dragon–''

''Your dragon?!''

'' –The Great Dragon, said. It isn't my duty. I'm here because I want to be. I'm free to run away and abandon this whole destiny-crap from my mind, but I'm not going to do that, Arthur.'' He paused and slid his hand under the door, to find Arthur's fingers placed there. It sent a shiver through both their bodies.

''Why wouldn't you?'' Arthur asked weakly, ''I'm only messing up and ruining everything I touch.''

''Because,'' and it was the first time Merlin had said it out loud, ''I love you. I love you, Arthur, I do. I really do.'' That very second, Arthur's hand slipped out of Merlin's fingers and Merlin didn't even have the time to wonder if he'd done something wrong, because Arthur was banging loudly on the door. ''Open up, Merlin,'' he groaned, ''_now_.''

This time Merlin didn't have any second doubts and as soon as the door was unlocked Arthur stormed in, with ceremonial clothes on and all, and kissed him full on the mouth.

Merlin responded immediately by grabbing Arthur's hair while sucking on his upper lip. _How I'd longed for this_, was the only thought they both had.

Arthur's tongue made its way into Merlin's mouth, and this time it wasn't a drunk man who saw him as a sex object, just Arthur – and that ought to be enough for anyone. He grabbed Arthur's hair somewhat tighter as the kisses got wilder and Arthur's hands moved to his arse, pressing him even closer to his body. Merlin let out a moan when Arthur's hands started to move upwards under his newly bought shirt – especially for the ball – and undid it from his body. Then, the kisses stopped for a second and Arthur looked at Merlin in awe. ''You're beautiful,'' he whispered.

''Not clumsy or skinny?'' Merlin asked with a little grin.

''No,'' Arthur responded, and his lips moved over Merlin's shoulder, pressing little kisses on the bare skin. ''Not at all.'' Merlin threw back his neck, leaving the skin exposed. Arthur's kisses travelled upwards his neck and then they were face to face again. Arthur palmed Merlin's face in his hands. ''I'm so sorry, you must know.'' He was out of breath. ''I came to the ball to tell you I accept your magic and I want to start a serious relationship with you.'' Two pairs of blue eyes were looking deep into each other. ''Then I saw your cousin and it made me so angry... the thought of you with someone else...'' He shook his head. ''God, I sound like a selfish brat. Attacking her and you was so unfair, I cannot–''

On Arthur's lips suddenly laid two fingers. ''Ssh,'' hushed Merlin, leaning in for another kiss. It was more passionate than every kiss they'd shared before and was only broken off when Merlin thought it was time Arthur removed his shirt. He stroke a lock of blonde hair from Arthur's sweaty forehead after the job was done.

''Happy new year,'' Arthur said out of the blue, and Merlin responded with a ''you too''. Then, he nibbled Arthur's right earlobe before whispering seductively: ''So... have you made some New Year's resolutions yet?''

Arthur almost came by the tone of Merlin's voice. ''God, I've missed you, Merlin,'' he sighed when the sorcerer started sucking his neck. ''Yes, please, please.''

Merlin looked up and grinned wickedly: ''What exactly?''

''Let me have you,'' Arthur pleaded. ''Here,'' – he kissed Merlin's lips – ''here,'' – the chest – ''and here.'' When saying the last word, he put his hands in Merlin's pants. The last named person let out a sound of pleasure when Arthur started massaging his hard cock, softly but with pressure. He could have given himself right there, between Gaius' medicines and books, but Arthur dragged him to his own, small bedroom and locked him onto his own, small single bed. ''I'm glad you aren't wearing that feather hat,'' Arthur confessed.

Merlin snapped: ''Shut up, you loved it.''

''I did,'' his prince said, smirking at the memory.


	14. Chapter 14 Epilogue

**Heat of the Moment**

**Chapter 14**

Arthur awoke in an unfamiliar room and felt uncomfortable, but then felt Merlin's arm wrapped around his waist and Merlin's nose pressed in his collarbone – suddenly everything was more than familiar. He just laid there, enjoying Merlin's body heat and heart rhythm. He'd go through hell with his father to make sure he could wake up like this every single day. It was worth it.

He stroke Merlin's hair gently and Merlin made a sound, but kept his eyes closed. On his face was an expression of pure adoration.

''Merlin, I'm going to tell Ga-wain he can–'' The woman's voice trailed off. Arthur recognised the girl from yesterday evening – Merlin's cousin – who stood in the door opening. ''Oh,'' she said nonchalantly, but the expression on her face spoke for her. Arthur didn't blame her – he'd be in shock too if he was her – catching two naked bodies in a bed with only a white blanket covering them. And that wasn't all: it were the crown prince of Camelot and his servant. Now _that_ is something you don't see every day.

''Morning,'' Arthur said awkwardly, and he started to gather his clothes with only one hand out of the bed. He could just find his pants, then remembered his shirt was somewhere in the other room. He strongly hoped Gaius had slept somewhere else.

The girl shook her head at the gesture. ''Don't.''

Arthur obeyed and slowly put his arm under the blanket again, where Merlin wrapped himself around him even more tightly.

''I'm sorry about last night... everything,'' Arthur apologised and he saw her taking in his face, as if she could see whether he was telling the truth or not. ''Okay,'' she said then, ''and I'm sorry about... ehm... that.'' Without seeing it, Arthur knew she'd made a big red line on his skin. ''I deserved it,'' he admitted, placing his hand on the sore skin.

The girl bit her under lip. ''Yeah, you did,'' she said with a twinkle in her eyes, while walking over to a window – ''God it smells like sweat here'' – and put it open.

Arthur couldn't suppress the little grin that was formed on his lips. ''What about a fresh start?'' he suggested and she told him she was able to give him a second chance. It was like a weight had been lifted of his shoulders. ''Thanks,'' he said gratefully.

Merlin's cousin nodded, then pointed at her relative, who was sleeping in Arthur's arms, snoring lightly. ''Take good care of my precious cousin,'' she told Arthur. ''I will not hesitate to slap you again if you hurt him.''

Arthur gave Merlin a look. ''I wouldn't,'' he whispered softly. It was like he lost all sense of time and minutes passed in what seemed like seconds.

The woman in the room cleared her throat at last and changed the subject. ''Well, um, I'm going to tell Ga-wain I don't want his flowers and uh... you are, by the way, incredibly lucky Gaius stayed over at an old friend's house – with... Alice was her name I believe – and he told me to deliver the message, so now you know.''

Arthur let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. ''Thank you, really,'' he said, relieved by those words.

''You're welcome,'' she said. ''I'd better be going now. I'll see you around, prince Arthur.''

''Have a nice day... what's your name?'' Arthur wanted to slap his forehead at that point, but she only smiled, introduced herself as Alena, made a small bow and was gone.

Another sigh of relief from Arthur's side – it had all gone way better than he could've ever imagined. He'd probably have thrown pans if he'd caught Morgana in bed with... Gwen?! He closed his eyelids and banished that incredibly strange thought from his mind.

''Who was that?'' it sounded muffled. Merlin's hot breath against his collarbone made Arthur's heart beat like a drum.

''No one,'' he heard himself say. ''S'alright.''

''You're the worst,'' Merlin whispered, joy in his voice. ''That was Alena.''

''You were asleep,'' Arthur protested, ''or were you just pretending?''

Merlin's sweet, innocent laugh filled the room. ''Yes,'' he confessed while chuckling, and Arthur began to tickle him. ''Now who's the worst?'' Arthur asked challengly.

''Stop, you clotpole! Stop!'' Merlin cried out. ''If I say I am, will you stop?''

They were both out of breath when Arthur had pinned Merlin to the small bed with a crazy boyish look in his eyes. The tickling had stopped and they locked their blue eyes.

''What now?'' Merlin asked in a low husky voice, licking his lips with his wet, pink tongue. This movement was all it took for Arthur to bow down, press his lips on the black haired man under him, and experience last night all over again.

* * *

When Gwain and Alena's daughter was born, Arthur and Merlin became her godfathers. They saw Eve as their own child, and joked about how her brown hair was a combination of both of their hair colours.

At the age of one, Eve learned to say their names. She couldn't pronounce Arthur's name flawlessly, but it was a start.

When she was two, she demanded a kiss from both of them before she went to sleep.

Three years old was she when her godfather became king and she had to wear her prettiest clothes.

One year later the girl celebrated her fourth birthday. Uncle Merlin lit up the candles of her birthday cake with only a change of eyecolour. Arthur blew out the candles before Eve could so she called him a 'stoepit' king. Merlin had given Arthur a hopeless smile – ''It's in the family'', whereon Arthur had pressed a kiss upon his lips, laughing all the while.

Never went a day by where Eve saw her godfathers unhappy. And for that reason, in the year Eve got to blow out six candles on a cake, she was asked to be their bridesmaid.

_**THE END**_

* * *

_That was it then. I hope you've enjoyed reading this! Thanks for all the support (I can't thank you enough honestly), and keep on reading Merthur fanfics :P_

_Please leave a comment what part of the story you enjoyed most! :) See you again soon? xx Nynke_


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